2 definitions by Captain Caveman III

A gay fish is someone who simply doesn't get it. This person may believe that they are an expert on a topic ( and in some cases they may actually be) however more often than not they will just be feigning intelligence in order to look more important.
Sarah: I am an expert on foreign policy because I can see Russia from my house!

Joe: Damn, the female gay fish.
by Captain Caveman III September 22, 2009
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A safety wipe is the one you give yourself after a fart that may have been wet and resulted in you accidentally pooping yourself a little.
Joe: I farted earlier and I had to do a safety wipe.

Kevin: ( wet sounding fart)
Sam: Damn, you need to go do a safety wipe
by Captain Caveman III October 7, 2009
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