The act of the Chuck Norris is as follows (only people who own a Total Gym should attempt this act, or serious injury could be incurred)
Just before ejaculation, rip your dick through the condom, cum on your foot, and roundhouse kick your bitch in the face. When she says "What the fuck?", say "Don't mess with Texas."
Last night your mom was gettin crazy so I chuck norrised her and she calmed down.