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Definitions by Big Jacks Bollocks

swallowed an anaconda 

An expression used by people to explain light heartedly why they've just curled out an unfeasably large long turd.
I was round at the in laws for Sunday lunch and I got the urge to nip off a loaf, unfortunately it was bigger than expected and wouldn't flush, in fact I had to explain to her mum that I must have swallowed an anaconda, she wasn't amused!