A rounded, bespectacled, hairy creature with an insatiable appetite for alcohol and a deviant liking of root vegetables.
Gaz : "Have you seen Bennett ? We're supposed to be going out tonight"
Al : "Steve Bennett ?"
Gaz : "Don't be crazy man, no one can handle a night out with Steve Bennett"
Al : "Steve Bennett ?"
Gaz : "Don't be crazy man, no one can handle a night out with Steve Bennett"
by Baku Goose November 28, 2009
A strange, mystical Neanderthal like creature that allegedly roams the Caucasus (with the exception of Mount Elbrus) and the Kazakh Steppe.
Although there has never been any conclusive proof that the "Santos" actually exists rumours abound in the folklore of the region and the similarity in description across all the different countries cast some sort of credibility to it's existence.
The creature is said to be of "swarthy" appearance and has a lumbering gait that makes it appear to stagger as though drunk with the Azerbaijani, Dagestan, Chechnya and some Georgian people referring to it as "Chorni Chuchka Santos", and the Kazakhs calling it "Monkeyears Santos"
There are many rumours of conflicts between the Santos and local villagers and it is said to be aggressive if cornered and bears the scars of many battles.
It's said it moves between the Caucasus and the Kazakh Steppe by swimming the Caspian Sea and there have been limited sightings reported in the Ural River in Atyrau, however most local experts believe it migrates over frozen areas of the Caspian during the winter months.
It is reportedly a solitary creature that eats fermented fruit which may account for it's drunken like state in many of it's sightings
Although there has never been any conclusive proof that the "Santos" actually exists rumours abound in the folklore of the region and the similarity in description across all the different countries cast some sort of credibility to it's existence.
The creature is said to be of "swarthy" appearance and has a lumbering gait that makes it appear to stagger as though drunk with the Azerbaijani, Dagestan, Chechnya and some Georgian people referring to it as "Chorni Chuchka Santos", and the Kazakhs calling it "Monkeyears Santos"
There are many rumours of conflicts between the Santos and local villagers and it is said to be aggressive if cornered and bears the scars of many battles.
It's said it moves between the Caucasus and the Kazakh Steppe by swimming the Caspian Sea and there have been limited sightings reported in the Ural River in Atyrau, however most local experts believe it migrates over frozen areas of the Caspian during the winter months.
It is reportedly a solitary creature that eats fermented fruit which may account for it's drunken like state in many of it's sightings
by Baku Goose August 12, 2009
Happy Gazday is a day when nothing EVER goes right and the "Happy" part is used in irony.
You all know the kinda day I'm talking about ? The sort of day that starts off when you get out of bed, late, hungover and half sleeping then stagger barefoot to the toilet only to stand squarely in a pile of steaming dog shit that squelches up between your toes making you want to puke.
Later, after cleaning the shit from between your toes and almost giving yourself a hernia puking, you go downstairs to make breakfast and, if there happens to be a milk carton in the fridge, you end up pouring a lump of stinking semi fermented cheese into your freshly made tea, coffee or cereal resulting in another gut ripping puking session !
The day continues when you go through a succession of miserable experiences and failures at work, school, college, etc. incorporating burns, scalds, bumos and paper cuts and in an attempt to cheer yourself you decide to go to the bar to have a drink and are met by a smiling barmaid/barman holding your massive bill from the night before.
It can also be sung to the tune of "Happy Birthday" when mocking someone who is having a particularly bad day.
You all know the kinda day I'm talking about ? The sort of day that starts off when you get out of bed, late, hungover and half sleeping then stagger barefoot to the toilet only to stand squarely in a pile of steaming dog shit that squelches up between your toes making you want to puke.
Later, after cleaning the shit from between your toes and almost giving yourself a hernia puking, you go downstairs to make breakfast and, if there happens to be a milk carton in the fridge, you end up pouring a lump of stinking semi fermented cheese into your freshly made tea, coffee or cereal resulting in another gut ripping puking session !
The day continues when you go through a succession of miserable experiences and failures at work, school, college, etc. incorporating burns, scalds, bumos and paper cuts and in an attempt to cheer yourself you decide to go to the bar to have a drink and are met by a smiling barmaid/barman holding your massive bill from the night before.
It can also be sung to the tune of "Happy Birthday" when mocking someone who is having a particularly bad day.
Si : "Yo Dick, how's it hangin' man"
Dick : "Gave myself a Mimmack last night, had a nightmare about a Santos, shit myself while I slept, no water when I woke up so had to go to work stinking of B.O. and shit and then everything got worse...topped it all off by having a Wraithmell} in the bar" <sob>
Si : "Bollocks dude, not another Happy Gazday" ??
Dick : "Gave myself a Mimmack last night, had a nightmare about a Santos, shit myself while I slept, no water when I woke up so had to go to work stinking of B.O. and shit and then everything got worse...topped it all off by having a Wraithmell} in the bar" <sob>
Si : "Bollocks dude, not another Happy Gazday" ??
by Baku Goose October 22, 2009