Marc

1.) A hairline so bad it makes Vegeta's look good
2.) Has patches pre-pubescent whiskers that he keeps in hope of them becoming a lushius beard(we all know it won't happen just don't tell him)
3.) Shops out of the army foundation bin

4.) Head shaped like the topographical map of Nevada

Child: mom, mom! Look at that man!
Mother: don't get close to him son he's a Marc