8 definitions by Air Base Hooker
A prostitute, but one who acts with the greater speed, efficiency and warfighting capability one would expect from a prostitute working an installation of the United States Air Force.
by Air Base Hooker January 18, 2019
When someone's only saleable skill is the ability to take a shit without getting their digesticles all over the place. Is usually combined with the attitude that their low-level job requires a much higher skill level than it truly does.
Bob: What do you do?
Tom: I just retired from being a stock boy at Safeway.
Bob: How do you retire from a job like that?
Tom: There's way more to putting bottles of salad dressing on a shelf than you think!
Bob (under his breath): Oh, we got ourselves a real, true professional shitter here.
Tom: I just retired from being a stock boy at Safeway.
Bob: How do you retire from a job like that?
Tom: There's way more to putting bottles of salad dressing on a shelf than you think!
Bob (under his breath): Oh, we got ourselves a real, true professional shitter here.
by Air Base Hooker January 20, 2019
Alternate name for a "Mart Cart," those electric scooters ridden by the elderly, obese or disabled at Walmart.
by Air Base Hooker August 3, 2019
The act of taking a shit in someone's mouth at close range while, simultaneously, pissing on a live electrical wire. Optimal timing of both shit and piss will cause both participants to be electricuted during the act.
Tom: "Did you hear how Wilf and Timmy celebrated Valentine's Day?"
Bob: "No."
Tom: "They performed a successful Dirty Zeus."
Bob: "Those magnificent bastards."
Tom: "All hail the god of lightning!"
Bob: "No."
Tom: "They performed a successful Dirty Zeus."
Bob: "Those magnificent bastards."
Tom: "All hail the god of lightning!"
by Air Base Hooker February 15, 2019
The ancient art of using your entire family of ten to block access to an area of a grocery store without even really trying.
"Hark! Yon family doth close off thine access to the dairy section in the finest tradition of toiletcloggury!"
by Air Base Hooker January 13, 2019
The name applied to a member of the party sent away from the main group, whether voluntarily or not, due to extraordinary, rancid flatulence.
Bob: Why is Nick sitting over on the other side of the park? Shouldn't he be hanging out with us?
Tom: Ahh, he's a fucking fart leper. Ate beans for lunch and wouldn't stop that farting shit, fuckin' guy.
Tom: Ahh, he's a fucking fart leper. Ate beans for lunch and wouldn't stop that farting shit, fuckin' guy.
by Air Base Hooker August 15, 2019
The quaint, local, daily ritual of a person, family or rock band whose vehicle is burglarized by local meth-heads while parked in an Albuquerque motel parking lot near Interstates 25 or 40, the fact of which ends up in the news and any Google search for the word "Albuquerque."
Timmy: How was your gig in Phoenix?
Billy: Great until the fuckin' Albuquerque Welcome Wagon stole all our guitars on the drive back home!
Timmy: Fuckin' Motel 6!
Billy: Yah, and fuckin' Albuquerque!
Billy: Great until the fuckin' Albuquerque Welcome Wagon stole all our guitars on the drive back home!
Timmy: Fuckin' Motel 6!
Billy: Yah, and fuckin' Albuquerque!
by Air Base Hooker August 1, 2019