8-Bit Anus

An accurate description of Walmart's "spark" logo.

The Walmart spark logo totally looks like an 8-bit anus. Like, if they showed you Donkey Kong's asshole in 1982, that's totally what it would have looked like. Just try to unsee it.

by Air Base Hooker January 21, 2022

Albuquerque Welcome Wagon

The quaint, local, daily ritual of a person, family or rock band whose vehicle is burglarized by local meth-heads while parked in an Albuquerque motel parking lot near Interstates 25 or 40, the fact of which ends up in the news and any Google search for the word "Albuquerque."

Timmy: How was your gig in Phoenix?
Billy: Great until the fuckin' Albuquerque Welcome Wagon stole all our guitars on the drive back home!
Timmy: Fuckin' Motel 6!
Billy: Yah, and fuckin' Albuquerque!

by Air Base Hooker August 01, 2019

Air Base Hooker

A prostitute, but one who acts with the greater speed, efficiency and warfighting capability one would expect from a prostitute working an installation of the United States Air Force.

Bob: Whoa, that car is really fast!
Jim: Yeah, faster than an air base hooker!

by Air Base Hooker January 18, 2019

Fart Leper

The name applied to a member of the party sent away from the main group, whether voluntarily or not, due to extraordinary, rancid flatulence.

Bob: Why is Nick sitting over on the other side of the park? Shouldn't he be hanging out with us?
Tom: Ahh, he's a fucking fart leper. Ate beans for lunch and wouldn't stop that farting shit, fuckin' guy.

by Air Base Hooker August 15, 2019

Dirty Zeus

The act of taking a shit in someone's mouth at close range while, simultaneously, pissing on a live electrical wire. Optimal timing of both shit and piss will cause both participants to be electricuted during the act.

Tom: "Did you hear how Wilf and Timmy celebrated Valentine's Day?"
Bob: "No."
Tom: "They performed a successful Dirty Zeus."
Bob: "Those magnificent bastards."
Tom: "All hail the god of lightning!"

by Air Base Hooker February 15, 2019