Definitions by A. Neuman

Kluger

Not to be confused with the Toyota SUV of the same name, a Kluger is an extremely large, thick shit - often blocking the toilet resulting in a call out from a local plumber.
Some may also consider drivers of the aforementioned massive shits.

‘Dave just did a Kluger, goddamn it! Call the plumber again!’

Kluger by A. Neuman August 22, 2026

Dick Shaped Service 

Where the reservation staff book all the tables in a single sitting at the exact same time; as such the service staff are then required to stand around with their dicks in their hands (usually for an elongated period) before being ‘dicked’

This is in contrast to a spread service where guests arrive over a period of time ensuring a consistent, smooth flowing service.

Guys, they’re all booked at 6:30, another Friday, another dick shaped service

Dick Shaped Service by A. Neuman May 24, 2022