Top Definition
Boys who can't kiss for shit. Generally slobber everywhere, including in their hair.

He appears in angus thongs and perfect snogging as peter. Thinks he's god's gift to women.

Beware of the whelk boy!!
girl 1: "so was he a good kisser?"

girl 2: "No he was a fucking whelk!"

girl 1 "gads...don't go near him again."
by fuckedbyabumder August 29, 2011
a fool, moron.. someone who is not to bright
Mike Lindine is a complete whelk for not host ing his site correctly
by Ryan oBerlander, Matt Melvin October 15, 2006
Not a common insult you hear but a very good one.

Means a very annoying person who never knows when to shut up.
Bloke one, "Hey your girlfriends a skank"
Bloke two, "Get the F*** out you Whelk"
by Georgied May 25, 2011
A charming cad, who uses bullshit and innuendo creatively, with the intention of getting into a posh girl's panties.
With his ginger hair it was clear that Prince Harry was sired by the whelk James Hewitt.
by George Vespe May 10, 2008
Various water snails; sometimes edible
I ate a whelk
by Paul C June 01, 2003

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