1. girlfriend or wife pissed off and wants to end relationship (in case of wife we advise you to find a damn good lawyer)

2. your parents found your stash or are fed up with in there house (normally the second one never happens because they want it to be like you solved it so you cant say they kicked you out)

3.boss thinks your not working enough (because you where not working 24 hoar shifts with no pay) so he is firing you.

4. (rarest of all)girlfriend or wife just want to cuss you out or wants you to tell you to never see your friends again.
1.wife: honey we need to talk.
husband: (thinking) DAMN where is the number for my lawyer.

(mind you this had 2 so i might as well put the 2nd one down)

girlfriend: honey we need to talk

dude: (thinking) shit

2.parents son we need to talk what is this

kid:(thinking) o crap they found my stash better think fast...

(the second one)

parents: son we need to talk we want you out of our house now you have been here for a year now and you said a week and you'd be back on your feet

3. boss: we need to talk, seeing as you hardly work and our sales are down by 10% your fired.

boss: (thinking) he should of worked 24 hoar shifts with no pay... o well more money for me.

4.(wife or girlfriend) : honey we need to talk.
(wife or girlfriend) :(thinking) this will teach you for forgetting our anniversary.


(wife or girlfriend) : honey we need to talk. your never allowed to see your friends again.

(wife or girlfriend) : (thinking my twisted version mind you) bwahahaha now I will make him hang out with my friends all day long.

sorry for the length of this but a lot of scenarios and just wanted to get them all.
by deraj January 06, 2007
Top Definition
You are screwed.
"George, we need to talk. Are you cheating on me?"
by Satan September 20, 2003
Is your clue that you need to act quick.
If you're good you'll beable to dump her before she dumps you.
If you're really good, you'll fuck her first and then dump her before she wants to cuddle.
-Situation A-
Woman: We need to tal...
Man: (interupting) I've been thinking, and ... you're a slut. And I want your sister.

-Situation B-
Woman: We need to talk.
Man: That sounds wonderful. I have been planning to have you come over to my place and to cook you a candle lit meal.
The Plan: Pick her up and take her to your place (she'll feel dependent on you and won't break up b/c she needs a ride home). Suck it up and cook something she likes. Include wine, cucumbers and good n plentys (they'll all make her horny). After dinner play some good music. By then the wine will be kicking in and she'll be doubting her earlier plans and you can work your stuff. It'll be some of the best sex you'll have b/c she'll have been through a bunch of woman emotional stuff. She'll most-likely be on top too. Once your done with firsts and possibly seconds. Tell her you need to take her home so you can get to work tomorrow. Dump her at her door step. Do not back down and keep seeing her. If you do, she'll dump you for sure in 4-7 days.
Peace and happy masterbating.
by Louis January 25, 2004
womens secret code for : haha sonny, you're fucked.
honey, about our relationship, we gotta talk.
by Jack White September 20, 2003
Actually means, 'I need to talk, You better listen'.

Generally pronounced by a female voice
Susan: Dera, we need to talk.
Sam: (time to put all my non-listening skills I been practicing)
by [offbeat] April 11, 2004
1) The most pointless phrase in the English language because you are already talking when you say this.
2) Means: You're screwed.
3) Signals the beginning of the end of a relationship.
4) Your wife/girlfriend wants to bitch about something. The perfect time to fake a heart attack.
1) A: We need to talk
B: We already are, dumbass.
2) A: We need to talk
B: Ahh shit.
3) A: We need to talk
B: *packs bags*
4) A: We neeed to talk
B: *falls to the ground clutching heart*
by Kay March 21, 2004
female version of "I need to complain"
"We need to talk" will often be said after toilet seats are left in the upright position, and/or you come before she does and/or in the event of forgotten anniversaries.
by Captain Rad November 22, 2002
Variation of "I like you but you aren't what I want"; "I need to complain about something"; "I'm a muff diving whore"
X- Hey Sam?
Sam- What?
X- We need to talk...
Sam- Oh shit...
by Sam A.M. October 17, 2003

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