The U.K. equivalent of the U.S. noun "jerk", in that they both originated in calling someone a masturbator but have long since evolved into a general way of describing one as an unintelligent, nasty fool. "Wanker" most often means dolt or moron whereas "jerk" more often implies malevolence.
The bloody wanker can't even follow my most basic instructions.
by jawbone April 22, 2010
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1) a bloke who whacks off alot.
2) a term of endearment...an insult that's actually a kind of compliment
3) a total insult
1) ryan's been in the shower for hours! he must be wanking for britain! i always knew he was a complete wanker
2) ryan ya wanker, get your arse down to the pub and i'll buy you a pint
3) tony blair is a fucking wanker.
by #1 brit extraordinaire. April 23, 2003
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A british term for "one who masterbates". Commonly used as an insult
by j5_teh_evil November 16, 2002
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1) Someone who loves themselves so much that masturbation isn't enough self-love for them, so they publicise their imaginary greatness by appearing on reality TV shows, or failing that, add entries to definition websites describing people with their name as somehow better than everyone else. See also: narcissist.

2) Basically the same as 1) above but a narcissist who, having had their pride bruised by someone, decides it is a mature and reasonable course of action to define aforementioned person on a definition website with details of said infidelity plus various fabrications about their sexual and/or culinary desires. Someone who publicly blames their own inadequacies on someone else.
I was on Urban Dictionary last night voting on the latest definitions, and I couldn't believe how many wankers there were trying to big themselves up or put someone down.
by Mr. Cardboard October 31, 2011
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1. a contemptable person; jerk.
2. a male masturbator.
"You always take the last of the Fruit Loops, you wanker!"
by Glenanne August 24, 2007
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Contradictory to belief, a wanker is not someone who masturbates.
A wanker is someone who is an idiot
Jack: Oh Matt's a right wanker ain't he?
John: Yeah, bloody hell I hate him
Matt: Cunts.
by Stroooker April 18, 2018
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Wanker: An arrogant or pretentious person. Sometimes this word is used instead of resorting to 'Cunt' or 'Bellend'.
I always wanted to meet a Wanker, but then I met Brett.
by S86849 July 16, 2014
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