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when you hold back an impending crap long and hard enough that it actually creeps back upwards, buying you a little more time before either making it to a bathroom or shitting your pants
Carl suddenly had to take a shit on a floatplane but there was no bathroom, so he clenched up tight and forced an upturd.
upturd by walterc March 26, 2013
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verb- the act of making something worse in an inept attempt to make it better, usually by adding unnecessary, useless, and/or ridiculous elements
Jim's $500 Honda station wagon was uptarded when he added the whale-tail spoiler.
uptard by ChinkJew May 15, 2005
Related Words
make more stupid, upgrading retardness, advancing incompetence.
Dude, your uptarding yourself watching all that American Idol.
Uptarding by peter.jubb April 21, 2005
(тормоз по русски, if anyone reads Russian here):

a person who is neither retarded nor mentally challenged nor eccentric, but in their normal state (i.e without being UTI) is still slow on the uptake.
boy: Melissa, when is your birthday again?

girl: my name is not Melissa, it's Melanie, and are you lol an uptard? I know you are normal because you get amazing grades in chemistry and physics. my birthday, for the last time, is March 15, but you always give me flowers on March 9.

boy: I am not an uptard. Due to family tradition, i can't possibly give a girl flowers on The Ides of March, even if it's her birthday.

Melanie: are you telling me your limo is triple parked?

boy: no.
uptard by Uncle Dimma February 16, 2013
Improved, in retard-style.
I didn't like my essay for school, so I totally uptarded it by adding bits of chewed crayon.
Uptarded by Brass January 30, 2003
To make more retarded/slower than before...
I uptarded my honda by adding a wing and body kit
Uptarded by deftonz1 August 11, 2003

upturned collar 

An upturned collar, often called a "popped collar", is -- as the term obviously states -- a collar that has been upturned. It is best-known for its role during the 2000's as a part of "preppy" culture, something that many believe has worn out its welcome.
College Student 1: "My word, Lawrence, do you see that fellow student with the most audacious dress?"

College Student 2: "Egads! The youth with the upturned collar? Why, he must be visually impaired -- indeed, certainly! -- for he cannot see his current physical state; naturally, if he could, he would relieve his collar of its outdated duty posthaste!"

College Student 1: "Quite."
upturned collar by Suave Slav September 25, 2006