"why what happened?"
"I was enjoying my peaceful morning shat session when some asshole decided to uncle ted me."
"what did you do?"
"I pissed on his shoes."
"good, he deserved it. Some people!"
Those two Uncle Teds from marketing creep me out! They are always hanging out by the sink next to the urinals and I think one of them was trying to sneak a peek at my junk while I peed.