Top Definition
A vegetable of very limited intelligence. Like George W. Bush, only smarter - a turnip knows enough to keep its mouth shut. Bush is continually flapping his. You will rarely catch a turnip saying things like:

"I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace."

or

"I hope you leave here and walk out and say, 'What did he say?'"

When one turpin is insulting another turnip, he will call him a bush. It's all horticulture really when you think about it...
Wow, what a stupid thing to say. You are about as bright as a turnip.
by smartin September 04, 2006

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A person being extremely random.
Being random.
People are often being very turnip on the in-tar-web.
Changing subject to something different when talking.
Examples:
"I JUST ROLLED IN A PILE OF DONUTS"
"LOL I JUST STOLE MY NEIGHBOUR'S MAIL"
by Sneakeh & Bollox August 10, 2004

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A word used to described something stupid, boring, or just plain retarded. It can be used to call someone stupid.
"You know that kid in biology class? He's such a turnip."
by Fionafiasco May 09, 2008

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a person in a permanent or persistent vegetative state or coma
Terri Schiavo, the brain-dead FL woman, was a turnip used for political advantage.
by Texas Cowboy March 22, 2005

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alcohol.
see also "turniped," meaning drunk.
"You are not driving, you have had waay to many turnips."
"Dude I was soooo turniped last night, I don't remember anything."
by caitlin12345 January 06, 2008

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(verb)
To get drunk (as in turn up) but not rage. To turn up in solitude, generally lamely.
"Wanna get a drink in the basement and play pong by ourselves?"

"Yeah, let's turnip!"
by The Turnt Gardener March 21, 2014

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Function: noun
Etymology: probably from 1turn + neep; from the well-rounded root
1 a : either of two biennial herbs of the mustard family with thick edible roots: (1) : one (Brassica rapa rapifera) with usually flattened roots and leaves that are cooked as a vegetable (2) : RUTABAGA b : the root of a turnip
2 : a large pocket watch
I ate a turnip.

or

I looked at my turnip to tell the time.
by Jack Byers February 24, 2004

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