to spank the monkey

to masturbate... to do the the dirty deed, in a few words to deal with your sexual needs by yourself

Guy 1: How did it go last night?
Guy 2: Not so good, so I had to spank the monkey!

by Monkey Business March 4, 2011

spanking the monkey

waxing the carrot, choking the bishop, jacking the beanstock, yankee-ing the doodle,peting the one eyed wonder weasel, waxing the wood, caulking the cracks, jacking off, wanking.

"Oh dear jebus, jimmy is spanking the monkey in class!!!"

by bhrome April 7, 2004

spank the monkey

When a man masterbates or strokes his penis

All of a sudden, he pulled down his pants and started spanking that monkey!

by The Molster March 4, 2004

spanking the monkey

Taking things in to your own hand or a hand trusted by you.

I woke up last night and found my monkey standing up. I spanked him and he went back to sleep.

by David October 27, 2003

spanking the monkey

masturbating

"I wanna spank the monkey"

by C-dawgg January 19, 2003

Spank The Monkey

When you own a giant stuffed monkey and spank him.

Chrys Starr likes to spank the monkey live on Facebook!

by Walden Scott February 18, 2019

Spank the Monkey

masterbation- male only.

I was going to spend the day building shelters for the homeless, but decided to stay home and spank the monkey all day instead.

by Johny Casino December 20, 2009