Like waiting for a giraffe to give birth 

Waiting for something for a long period of time that never happens or seemingly will never happen

Waiting for my husband to mow the lawn is like waiting for a giraffe to give birth

Like waiting for a giraffe to give birth by Jbanana March 7, 2017

About to give birth to the antichrist

When you gotta shit so bad it feels like you're about to give birth to the antichrist.

Derived from a sub comic in issue 3 of Johnny The Homicidal Maniac.
(Go check the comic out, it is fucked up on so many levels and it's made by the creator of Invader Zim, which is fitting)

”Fuck! I feel like I'm about to give birth to the antichrist!"

About to give birth to the antichrist by Cynical Man March 14, 2026

Give birth to Pumbaa 

To give birth to Pumbaa is to push out a huge log ... to have a shit ... It's big, brown and smelly just like Pumbaa from The Lion King ... think of Pumbaa being born.

Me: I need to give birth to Pumbaa
My friend: Eww

Give birth to Pumbaa by SM_defined August 1, 2020

give birth to a diglett 

to take a shit, curl one off, drop the kids of at the pool etc in reference to the turd like pokemon

dude i gotta give birth to a diglett

give birth to a diglett by Monk286 May 28, 2009

give birth to a politician

To excrete solid bodily waste; to take a shit. The implication that the average politician is a(greedy, corrupt, duplicitous)piece of shit(which is true, in most cases).

"I'll be right back; I gotta go give birth to a politician."

give birth to a politician by Jeff Wagenhals July 13, 2007

give birth to a sailor 

When a U.S. Marine takes a shit. A term not enjoyed by the U.S. Navy.

Excuse me, I need to to the shitter and 'give birth to a sailor.'

give birth to a sailor by Mark C. September 15, 2005

give birth to a democrat 

Taking an enormous shit.

After I heard Hilary Clinton's speech, I had to go give birth to a democrat.

give birth to a democrat by B Clinton May 3, 2008