Mom: Danny, I've been going through your laundry, and I've discovered a multitude of sticky white stains on almost all your clothes
Danny: It's just toothpaste, ma.
Wise teen: I used the toothpaste defense once, but after that I started doing my own laundry
Probationer: No I didn't drink, I just brushed my teeth before I came here.
Probation officer: don't try the toothpaste defense on me! You're going to jail!