People watching with telescopes 

To take a dump so large and stinky that only 'People watching with telescopes' would survive.

To be of so little worth to society that only 'People watching with telescopes' might be fooled into thinking you have any value.

Warn the people watching with telescopes to back up, it's on it's way, and it's worst than we thought.

If it wasn't for the people watching with telescopes no one would know how we all died today.

The chair you built was so useless even people watching with telescopes could tell.

People watching with telescopes by Ir4piDcR4ckp07 December 13, 2012

japanese telescope 

When the girl jerks off the man's penis in resemblance to a telescope. The man proceeds to cum in the woman's eye making her squint like a Japanese person.

I have the Japanese telescope ready ;).

japanese telescope by Chester St. Rumpterfrabble February 9, 2017

telescope 

One of many euphemistic terms for a penis. Most famously used in this context in the Big Bang Theory episode, "The Boyfriend Complexity." In that episode, Howard and Raj accidentally kissed each other in the control room for a telescope. The next day, when Leonard casually asked Howard and Raj what had happened, both of them freaked out, even though Leonard hadn't heard about the kiss.

(FROM THE BIG BANG THEORY)

*Sheldon and Leonard are at the table in the cafeteria. Raj joins them.*

LEONARD: Oh, how'd it go last night?

RAJ: Oh, you know, same old same old. Looked through a telescope, saw some stars, big move.

LEONARD: Really? You waited months for a time with that telescope. What happened?

RAJ: Why? You writing a book?

SHELDON: I'm going to propose a hypothesis. Last night, Raj accidentally made contact with an alien civilization, and has been ordered by the United States government to keep it a secret.

RAJ: Nothing happened! Can we please just change the subject?!

SHELDON: That sounds rehearsed. We are not alone.

*Howard walks over to the table.*

HOWARD: Hey.

LEONARD: Hey.

SHELDON: Hello.

HOWARD: Hey.

RAJ: Hey.

LEONARD: You get to play with Raj's big telescope last night?

*Howard and Raj both react with shock.*

HOWARD: Where'd that come from?!

RAJ: He never touched my telescope!!

HOWARD: Way to go shutting up!

RAJ: I did shut up, now you shut up!

HOWARD: Fine!

RAJ: Thank you!

RAJ: I can't believe you didn't call me this morning.

telescope by Daedalus Suburbanus December 6, 2013

Telescoping 

A form of urethra play, in which an individual with a very large penis is fucked in the urethra by someone with a smaller penis

Dude#1“Bro u ever stick a cotton bud up in ya dickhole? Shits dope”

Dude#2“Bitch please u ever try telescoping? Get yo dick out and lemme fuck your dick with my dick”

Telescoping by Shittybottomus November 28, 2018

telescoping 

to masturbate into a tube and then ejaculate through the tube into someones eye

i was banging this bird last night. grabbed a toilet roll tube and proceeded in some telescoping

telescoping by luvchild1 September 22, 2009

Rusty Telescope

Similar to a rusty trombone but you put your eye up to the gentleman's anus instead of your lips. Use the penis like an ocular piece by twisting to adjust focus.

Warning: leads to conjunctivitis.

Bill and John were just horsing around when Bill gave John a rusty telescope. John laughed when Bill went to adjust his "focus"

Rusty Telescope by Ziglerfish March 19, 2012

Chocolate Telescope 

The act of looking up someone’s ass looking for a turd to come shooting out at you

Dude me and Megan decided to try the chocolate telescope and I got pink eye

Chocolate Telescope by Realfluffy20 April 3, 2021