I farted on my 2 year old and he ran to his mother. And she cringed at the smell' thinking he shat him self. Hence the surrogate crop duster.
by Plumbsavvy November 18, 2013
A prank by which an unsuspecting passed-out male is subjected to another male's ejaculate being emptied into his pants while asleep. If the prank is successful the Wet Dream Surrogate will awake to find the mess and believe it to be of his own making.
by King and Queen Gaper September 22, 2017
The inflammatory allegations and viewpoints offered by pundits in the Mainstream Media, calculated to make people feel righteously indignant, angry, and/or fearful.
V.P.S. is great for keeping people divided over pointless issues and bogged down by a never-ending ending stream of misinformation and biased interpretations which exist only within a truncated frame of reference.
Letting yourself be moved by V.P.S., and especially holding it as sound knowledge is anathema to intelligence and progress as it only causes fragmentation and feelings of intellectual and moral superiority.
Etymology: Taken from Aldous Huxley's book, "Brave New World." In that book's planned perfect society, people need a monthly dose of a concoction called V.P.S. to expose their body to all of the violent emotions which their perfect society does not elicit. It is touted having "all of the tonic effects of killing Desdemona and being killed by Othello," and is essential for bodily health.
V.P.S. is great for keeping people divided over pointless issues and bogged down by a never-ending ending stream of misinformation and biased interpretations which exist only within a truncated frame of reference.
Letting yourself be moved by V.P.S., and especially holding it as sound knowledge is anathema to intelligence and progress as it only causes fragmentation and feelings of intellectual and moral superiority.
Etymology: Taken from Aldous Huxley's book, "Brave New World." In that book's planned perfect society, people need a monthly dose of a concoction called V.P.S. to expose their body to all of the violent emotions which their perfect society does not elicit. It is touted having "all of the tonic effects of killing Desdemona and being killed by Othello," and is essential for bodily health.
Example 1
News Junkie: "That fuckin Bill O'Reilly; how can anyone be so stupid and ignorant?"
Rational Thinker: "Relax, He's paid to be inflammatory and administer your Violent Passion Surrogate."
Example 2
Reactionary: "Goddamn Obama is gonna take away my guns and turn this into a socialist country!"
Rational Thinker: "Relax dude, if they're talking about it on the news it's probably not an important issue but a distraction from real goings-on. It's just some Violent Passion Surroagte to keep you from thinking clearly.
News Junkie: "That fuckin Bill O'Reilly; how can anyone be so stupid and ignorant?"
Rational Thinker: "Relax, He's paid to be inflammatory and administer your Violent Passion Surrogate."
Example 2
Reactionary: "Goddamn Obama is gonna take away my guns and turn this into a socialist country!"
Rational Thinker: "Relax dude, if they're talking about it on the news it's probably not an important issue but a distraction from real goings-on. It's just some Violent Passion Surroagte to keep you from thinking clearly.
by dreguan May 15, 2013
also called a pseudo-girl/boy friend
a close friend of the opposite sex that you spend a lot of time with and talk to often much the same as you would with a girl/boyfriend, though they never will become your girl/boyfriend due to factors such as, but not limited to: age difference, the other person being in a relationship, the other person living too far away, fear of ruining the friendship etc.
You will often to "date-like" things with them, such as: go to dinner and a movie, take them to a party to introduce them to your friends, or have them meet your parents. though you will never do other "date-like" things, such as: hold hands while walking, get/give a kiss goodnight, have them to a big family function like Christmas dinner etc.
can be a cause of grief and jealousy if one of the friends is in a relationship and their girl/boyfriend feels threatened by the surrogate friend.
NOT to be mistaken for a friend with benefits, there are no sexual conotations on a surrogate friend.
a close friend of the opposite sex that you spend a lot of time with and talk to often much the same as you would with a girl/boyfriend, though they never will become your girl/boyfriend due to factors such as, but not limited to: age difference, the other person being in a relationship, the other person living too far away, fear of ruining the friendship etc.
You will often to "date-like" things with them, such as: go to dinner and a movie, take them to a party to introduce them to your friends, or have them meet your parents. though you will never do other "date-like" things, such as: hold hands while walking, get/give a kiss goodnight, have them to a big family function like Christmas dinner etc.
can be a cause of grief and jealousy if one of the friends is in a relationship and their girl/boyfriend feels threatened by the surrogate friend.
NOT to be mistaken for a friend with benefits, there are no sexual conotations on a surrogate friend.
Bob: i feel so bad for Tim, he really likes Sharon but she's been with her boyfriend for 8 months now, so Tim really has no chance
Bill: i know eh, they go to movies almost once a week, and Tim always pays. And they went on that camping trip on the long weekend. If someone didnt know better, they'd think Tim and Sharon were going out
Bob: Tim only wishes that was the case. Poor guy is hung up on her bad. Sharon is like his surrogate girlfriend
*having a surrogate girl/boyfriend sucks
Bill: i know eh, they go to movies almost once a week, and Tim always pays. And they went on that camping trip on the long weekend. If someone didnt know better, they'd think Tim and Sharon were going out
Bob: Tim only wishes that was the case. Poor guy is hung up on her bad. Sharon is like his surrogate girlfriend
*having a surrogate girl/boyfriend sucks
by pb foot May 17, 2010
A campaign minion who is selected to make a public inflammatory and controversial charge against the other candidate and then "resign" or be "forced out" after the cat is already out of the bag.
Geraldine Ferraro played suicide surrogate this week after characterizing Barack Obama as an affirmative action candidate.
by doodahman March 13, 2008
The same as a felch baby, but instead you suck it out and blow the used semen into another female for the purpose of knockin' the bitch up.
by anarchistcookbook January 12, 2012
gee whiz! -another fucking birthday (christmas), and you're still having to get off alone!! how sad! i'm (santas') going to bring you a nice sex surrogate gift this year. you can rest back and 'watch the stars', while the surrogate does all the 'work'!!
you couldn't 'score' with michael foolsley 'cause you were three hundred pounds!!?? -no problem!!...in this box is a phone number...call the number, and order up YOUR type of sex surrogate!!
you couldn't 'score' with michael foolsley 'cause you were three hundred pounds!!?? -no problem!!...in this box is a phone number...call the number, and order up YOUR type of sex surrogate!!
judy got the sex surrogate gift this year!! -after she got off, she was all smiles!
i'm hoping somebody gives me the sex surrogate gift this year!!!
i'm hoping somebody gives me the sex surrogate gift this year!!!
by michael foolsley December 29, 2010