stool softeners

humorous term for in-car seat warmers

Dude, i'm freezing my balls off in here. Doesn't this car have stool softeners?

stool softeners by JSMAX October 6, 2010

Softener 

Something a man thinks of when he is aroused to help him lose his erection.

My boss is so hot, I have to keep a picture of mom on my desk as a softener.

Softener by Airen521 February 7, 2021

Crusty Softener

The sexual act of licking a butt hole with hardened poop leftovers. Often staining the teeth or giving bad breath.

Guy 1: Yo how did last night go with your girl?

Guy 2: It was awesome she gave me a crusty softener, now i feel so clean and she definitely needs a new tooth brush.

Crusty Softener by psycho_words March 15, 2011

Stool Softener 

An object placed upon a hard chair ( i.e. a stool ) in the form of a cushion or a similar device, used to soften the area that is sat upon. Commonly used when a person will remain stationary for extended periods of time, such as when one is gaming.

"Dude, my ass is falling asleep. Hand me a stool softener."

Stool Softener by RunawayPanda January 19, 2014

Softeners 

Saggy tits that are so soft and have lost all perkiness

So you hooked up with Jessica last night... Were her tits sweet little handfuls or old lady softeners?

Softeners by Joe876543 August 29, 2013

Softeners 

Nasty ass hoes that make boners go soft

Dude, you see those fat asses? They a bunch of softeners..

Softeners by Joe876543 August 29, 2013

the stool softener 

A homo or heterosexual act of intensely pounding the colon into utter submission. Most often performed with a full intestinal load of feces, ready for expelment. The act is ended with the anus exploding out the contents into the softener-er's hot ejaculatory goo.

Frenchy hated his ex-girlfriend so much for giving him Hep-C, he performed "The Stool Softener" on her the next weekend when she called up drunk and wanted some action. She passed out in a warm Spunk Loaf later that night.

the stool softener by e-rips December 16, 2003