A Sloaney SLOW KNEE is anyone who involves themselves in the “wild” public school* social life, and has a little too much money to burn. Traditionally, the Sloaney is female, but nowadays males have been welcomed into the category, with their own distinct form of Sloaneyism. Sloaneys tend to spend much of their free life mindlessly wandering up and down the King’s Road and the immediate area of Chelsea, making use of a specialist tool known as “Daddy’s Credit Card” with the traders of the area.

* A public school is a paid-for educational institution, often with boarding houses. The idea behind them is that someone pays for you to gain a superior education, which allows you to earn plenty of money to get your children a superior education, which allows them to... etc. etc. until one of your offspring blows all his money on a twin-engined chocolate orange making machine.


Where to find them
During the school holidays, look out for them primarily in the vicinity of King's Road ("the KR") in Chelsea, London. However, they also spend time in their estates in the Berkshire and Buckinghamshire countryside partaking in rituals known as "polo" and "tennis parties". Rock, in Cornwall, and its surrounding area is a popular destination for Sloaneys with an art for keeping their blood alcohol level above the 50% level.

Telltale signs
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Designer clothes (non-skater, that is. Don't want to look like we've been slumming it in ...