R and H are hitting golf balls on a driving range at an elite golf club. The trajectory of the balls being hit parallels a popular tourist walkway that hugs a scenic section of coast line. R tees up a ball and unleashes a horrific and massive swing that produces a colossal hook bending the ball to the extreme left and missleing its way directly at a group of foreign, camera-toting tourist trudgeling along on the walkway. The golf ball finds home smack in the heart of the tourists and ricochets off of one the unsuspecting tourist’s head causing him to stand stiff upright, recite a portion of his nation’s anthem and then collapse completely and totally to the ground. The ball finds purchase in a 12-gallon boiling-hot espresso-to-go ‘cup’ held by an elderly man causing the hot ‘joe’ to be sprayed all over the other visitors who begin to express their shock and outrage through an impromptu interpretive dance based loosely upon the opening scenes of 2001: A Space Odyssey. R and H look on at the show on the walkway quite detached as though watching a mildly amusing 70’s sit-com to which H offers up, “Boy, did you really spank the badger on that one!” They both chuckle at the tourists’ expense and tee another one up.

spank the badger by Royal Wulff September 15, 2009

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