Josh: Did you know that Bernard proposed to Kayla?
James: No way, they only met a week ago.
Josh: I shit you not, they're engaged!
James: No way, they only met a week ago.
Josh: I shit you not, they're engaged!
by vejtics May 4, 2019
by B-dub (refers to my age) November 17, 2005
by Zael Yagami April 29, 2009
A typical Plumber to customer remark on viewing a well blocked toilet," It may be shit to you, but it's bread and butter to me"
Embarassed customer- I'm so sorry but the toilets full of floating shit and paper, it makes me want to throw up.
Plumber- Do not worry madam, It may be shit to you, but it's bread and butter to me.
Plumber- Do not worry madam, It may be shit to you, but it's bread and butter to me.
by Cpt Crapper of Dick Scratching February 22, 2012
to steal money from work, friends and family to support your drug problem, and then kill your family if you're close to getting caught as a diversionary tactic
"I shit you up, said Alec Murdaugh after grabbing paper towels to dry his tears, after admitting stealing money. I shit a lot of people up."
by Lady Virgo February 9, 2023
A phrase typically, but not always, used in conversation; can also be used in response to a fact, or its opposite, in media; the appropriate response to any sentence including any variation of the descriptor 'bullshit', when the word 'shit' is being used as a verb, and the preceding perceived assertion or premise reflects a known truth or fact. Also used as its reverse as a prank, to generate belief in something patently false and normally unbelievable.
You: Idaho is a state in the USA? You're shitting me!
Them: I shit you not! It's a state!
You: I thought it was an invention of the corn industry.
Them: You're shitting me.
You: I shit you not! ... yeah, I'm shitting you, you numbfuck.
Them: I shit you not! It's a state!
You: I thought it was an invention of the corn industry.
Them: You're shitting me.
You: I shit you not! ... yeah, I'm shitting you, you numbfuck.
by Omniv0r March 10, 2022
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