An immense amount - possible derived from the amount you can get in a shed - or the description of the amount of crap that covers the road (almost specifically designed to kill motorcyclists) when a lorry sheds its load.
Originally heard as Royal Marines slang.
"What do you fancy doing tonight?"
"I dunno, but Bomber has got a fucking shed load of vodka in his fridge and Sally has just got a copy of the porn movie she starred in"
Cigarette: Northern slang for a cigarette, used oft by mashed up mancunian ravers becasue of the resemblance of a hot(electric)stove to the end of a lit cigarette. Originated circa 1991 in the early halcyon days of the rave culture; we speculate during a drug fuelled hallucination by said manc.
'fuck me noel, i am bolloxed, is that a ciggy in your mouth, or the stove from me 'nans kitchen'/
General use: 'Give us a stove you cunt'