Shake Hands With the President 

verb; to masturbate.

Origins; as far as I know the term exists simply because the hand movement - with the help of a warped imagination - resembles shaking hands. The 'President' part comes about simply because, as many a male will tell you, the penis is the one making the decisions (for the man) in many female-male relationships.

1)Jeez, I wish I was at home shaking hands with the President right now.

2)Nah, I'm pretty bored. I think I might go and shake hands with the President.

3)Wow, there's photos in today's paper of your Dad shaking hands with the President!

Shake Hands With the President by Ashy B & Jacques May 18, 2006

shake hands with Wally

to urinate

Yo bro, keep your eye on my shit, I gotta go shake hands with Wally.

shake hands with Wally by OriginalDoanBrother May 17, 2011

shake hands with the unemployed 

British phrase, meaning male urinating.

"I'll be back in a jiff, I've got to go shake hands with the unemployed."

shake hands with the unemployed by Alexandra July 29, 2004

Shake hands with Mr. Johnson 

To give a handjob to.
To repeatedly stroke a man's penis.

So how far did you go with him Tanya?
Did you shake hands with Mr. Johnson?

Shake hands with Mr. Johnson by Rusty86 May 25, 2009

shake hands with the French 

unfortunate incident of piercing toilet paper with your middle finger while wiping yo ass

sniff my finger, i had to shake hands with the french

shake hands with the French by J Dubya December 26, 2003

Shake hands with Dick Cheney 

Urination. Particularly by means of a penis.

Hey Bob, save me a spot in that meeting. I have to drop by the bathroom to shake hands with Dick Cheney.

Shake hands with Dick Cheney by Syne May 7, 2008

shake hands with the wife's best friend 

to urinate

I'm gonna go to the restroom and shake hand's with the wife's best friend.

shake hands with the wife's best friend by sloppy Joe April 30, 2003