(n.) The reason for earthly unhappiness.
The church of Scientology could actually make us a lot happier if it folded.
by Kung-Fu Jesus May 07, 2004
Scientology is a mock religion created by the reincarnation of Hitler, Robert E. Lee, Benedict Arnold, and Satan himself. For the purposes of this article this culmination of people will be referred to as Ron L. Hubbard. Hubbard wrote a book called Dianetics for people who hate themselves but think they are to cool to go emo. The first edition of this book had special brainwashing powers and caused whoever reads it to subscribe to the religion scientology. When this was found out, the publisher stopped puting the brainwashing chips in, but the cult following grew. The basic beliefs are that aliens were killed by an alien and got blown up so bad that they died and got stuck in our brains. The sole purpose of these alien pricks is to piss us off. The hierarches of scientology make their followers give them all of their money. This money is then forwarded to Satan for his crusade against Jesus. In recent times, with his growing power, Satan created "Scientolobabies" who grew into celebrities spreading scientology bullshit.
Oh my God its scientology SHOOT IT!!!!
by castleking March 24, 2006
scientology:"making celebrities pay for religion since 1952"
the biggest con of the 20th century.(thats saying a LOT)
p.t. barnum could have done better himself...
by teh_bl0b April 09, 2005
See cult, scam and retarded. Basically the religion (har har) of Scientology says that some aliens did some shit a long time ago and that is why people are unhappy assholes. Founded by writer L. Ron Hubbard after he started taking his own books a little bit too seriously (or just got greedy, who knows).

If you pay them you get some devices and stuff that are supposed to purify you, and move you up the 'chain of command' until you get to join some sort of secret inner circle and plot how to take money away from other dumbasses. They didnt even add most of the alien shit until a bunch of people gave enough money to get promoted to the 'pure' stage and still werent happy.

Very popular with celebrities and other amoral rich people because the basic tenet is you can buy your way into heaven without any of the stipulations most other religions put on that, like not being a hedonistic, backstabbing little bitch.
Scientology: Object Proof that Celebrities are Dumb
by C++ August 16, 2005
A dumb religion where rich famous people go to, cause its "Cool"
"Tom Cruise believes in Scientology.
by Anonymous October 17, 2003
In other words, the biggest scam on the planet in its entire history. Anyone believing what this "religion" does is true, is brainwashed. They interfered with rescue efforts at the WTC on 9/11, and after being forcefully removed, walked back in, and tried to SELL their shit to people who were bleeding, crying, and desperately looking for friends and family . It's a religion based upon a horrible book aimed at converting everyone to be rid of "crime, insanity" and everything else they believe to be bad. All definitions on this website claiming Scientology is beneficial and good, are probably written by brainwashed arses.
WTC, 9/11 - Interfered with paramedics and others attempting to rescue, tried to make profit selling their books there.

London Bombings - Again attempted to interfere with paramedics by trying to "touch" those they were tending to.

The Internet - Launching cases against anyone and everyone who writes anything negative about them. If they find the person's ISP, they sue the ISP as well.

Free Speech - They claim to endorse it, but one bad word against them turns into a hundred lawsuits.
by Scientology Sucks August 06, 2005
A load of brainwashing money grabbing crap. A religion that goes around teaching crap and harassing people who disagree with them. They are liars and cheats. You can tell these people are lying just by looking at their face while they're talking.
Scientology is bad, MMkay?
by 1069 June 27, 2005
people who try to either get your money or make you become very depressed, because thier personality tests always say that you are already manically depressed.
The world would be a better place without scientology.
by meesterbandleader October 15, 2003

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