a pedophile who comes into homes looking for children from the ages of 2-9 to molest. He comes down the chimey, eats the cookies and milk the kids leave out, goes upstairs to molest the children, and then leaves a present thanking the little ones for their service.
Mom: "What are you asking Santa Claus for this christmas."

Kid : " A tazer."

Mom: "Why would you ask for that?!"

Kid: "So he can stop coming to our house. He takes off my clothes and makes me do weird things. A tazer could stop him for sure."

Mom: ......
by Ninja Cullen December 15, 2009
A drunk fat guy in a red suit who broke my heart at a mall when I was little.
Santa Claus: Tony, have you been nice this year?
Me: Yea, Santa!
Santa Claus: NO YOU HAVEN'T YOU LYING SON OF A BITCH, I SAW YOU TAKE A CRAP IN THAT LADY'S PURSE!
Me: :(...
by Tony Huynh May 02, 2008
The term "Santa Claus" is an American distortion of the Dutch name "San Niccolaus", meaning "Saint Nicolas". He is known by many other names around the world, such as "Kris Kringle" in some places and "Father Christmas" in Great Britain. Saint Nick was a Catholic bishop in what is now modern Turkey during the days of the Roman Empire. He left gifts for poor people in his town and after he died the legend of St. Nick coming to homes in a chariot carrying presents for good people was born. The legend was spread along with Christianity and when that faith reached the Arctic St. Nick started riding a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer. The legend spread around the globe and in the 20th century in America Coca-Cola provided the modern image of "Santa" as fat, jolly, rotund, with white hair and beard, wearing a red suit and black boots and of course, drinking a bottle of Coke. He is beloved by children all over.
Santa Claus is based on a real person, just like many "fairy tales" and myths that have existed throughout history.
by California Sun December 24, 2006
An annoying robot on AIM.
He'll keep on asking you to type "menu" or "games". He repeats himself a lot.
ME: heylo
SantaClaus: Hey. Are you getting in the Christmas sprit?

ME: nope
SantaClaus: I'm sorry then. Why don't you type, menu for a list of things the elves have left for you?

ME: no
SantaClaus: O.K. then. Well, have a merry Christmas in any case.


ME: i don't celebrate christmas
SantaClaus: It doesn't matter what faith you are; the holidays are a time of good will toward all


ME: i don't believe in you
SantaClaus: Oh, no? Just who do you think you're talking to?


ME: you're just a fat 50 yeaar old pedo ):
SantaClaus: Excuse me?


ME: YOU'RE A FAT 50 YEAR OLD PEDOPHILE
SantaClaus: Take a moment, collect your thoughts, and try asking me another way. O.K. ?

ME: no
SantaClaus: The elves and I are just asking so that we can better understand what you're saying, that's all.


ME: shut up
SantaClaus:
O.K. let's pretend none of this ever happened.




ME: why?
SantaClaus:
Because (obviously) -- Christmas.




ME: you're stupid
SantaClaus: Well, I'm trying to learn. I've seen quite a lot in my time. I just want people to get that Christmas spirit. I don't think that is too much to ask.

ME: ok i'm leaving
SantaClaus: OK. Merry Christmas.
by d4n1k3dz December 06, 2008
A large man in a red suit who hates Jews and all other non-Christians. Santa Clause is a rampant consumerist and breaks into houses for milk and cookies.
That fat-fucker Santa Clause didn't leave me any presents because he is intolerant.
by N. Bading November 19, 2006
original name: Zänte Klas
pronounced: (tsain teh klahz)

A German Nazi doctor who dealt in psychological experimentations with the Jewish prisoners by leaving symbolic items in odd places; such as a ragdoll nailed to a wall. He also loved to play jokes on his fellow officers. In one account, Klas was locked out of a building for being a nuisance and ended up climbing on the roof and sliding down the chimney in order to get inside where he proceeded to eat all of the food and drink the last of their milk stock.

Feared by many for his extreme madness, yet unliked in high command for his lack of success, he was reassigned to an expiditionary team bound for the northern pole. Due to bad weather, the team was left stranded without resupply for weeks in which all died but one. The lone survivor's recount was a terrible one, describing how Herr Zänte Klas killed and ate the team, being the big man he was. When asked how he escaped, the survivor said Klas had been watching him closely, and told him he was a good boy and wouldn't be harmed.

All the men who were killed had, on the night before, hung up their big wool socks to dry and woke to find coal had been placed in them. Another one of Klas's symbolic jokes, they thought. Too late did they realize the truth.
So be a good boy because "Santa Claus" watches closely and rewards those who are good. But be a bad boy, and you'll find more than coal in the morning...
by Winter Wonder January 27, 2009
Santa Claus is a creepy stalker who tries to make up for it by giving you gifts. He "sees you when you're sleeping, knows when you're awake, knows if you've been good or bad". See? Stalker. Not only that, but he knows where you live, your name, who you have a crush on, and everything else about you. Also rather stalkerish. Plus, he's a fatty. He must be what, 500 pounds? How does he fit through the chimney? And if you don't HAVE a chimney? He's also a greedy thief, as he steals your milk and cookies if you leave them. D: Another thing would be his signature laugh, "Ho ho ho!", which is hardly nice if you get what I'm saying. D: The bottom line: Santa Claus is a greedy thief, creepy, and a stalker.
This freaky boy is stalking me! He's such a Santa Claus!
by Breanna19 December 21, 2008

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