Many moons ago, Billy and
Phil, two best pals from the city of Clarksburg, began scouring the
internet for a fresh new
music act. Something mature, but not overly sentimental. Something fun, but not too juvenile. What they got was Da Fat Gay Retardeds. DaFGaR consists of two members: Fagdar and Gardaf. They had been a band for many years prior to Billy and Phil's discovery of their immense talent. Apparently, they were just too fat and stupid to know how to properly harness their own raw musical talent. Soon after the discovery, Billy and Phil agreed to act as DaFGaR's promotion agency. After many months of fat, gay retardedness they finally had a song to promote; that song being the absolutely enchanting, "lester-oats". Their first step towards stardom was when they posted "lester-oats" on the now defunct Mp3.com. Unfortunately, DaFGaR insisted that their
music be classified as "Children's
Music". Billy and Phil, not wanting to upset the gay duo, complied . A day later, Mp3.com emailed DaFGaR back, claiming that their
music was, "not suitable for children." This put Fagdar and Gardaf into a heavy state of
depression; a state they may still be in today. Billy and Phil lost contact with DaFGaR during their great
depression, and "lester-oats", though popular among those lucky individuals who have heard it, never garnered the success it should have. Amen.