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1.
Alternate spelling of quofe (also quoaf or quof).

noun: Penile flatulence (air or gas escaping from the penis through the urethra), a.k.a. a dick fart.

verb: To emit penile flatulence.

ETYMOLOGY: "Quofe" is the male form of queef.

NOTE: Quofes are a rare phenomenon compared to queefs because it is much harder for air to become stuck in a man's urethra than in a woman's comparatively larger vagina. Quofes occur most frequently after a catheter has been inserted into the penis and removed, leaving air trapped in the bladder or urethra.
After Reginald's catheter was removed, he tried to take a piss, but ended up letting a quoff at the same time, thereby splattering urine everywhere.
by fauxbourdon December 05, 2005
 
2.
Another way of saying "panties are in a bunch"
He won't let you have a party? What's his quoff?
by girl_with_brain July 01, 2010
 
3.
To drink, particularly an alcoholic beverage
Fancy going t'pub and quoffing some ale?
by elbazimo April 24, 2005
 
4.
The word one uses in place of a swear word. This word is also used to confuse people.
Shut the quoff up!
I have to take a quoff.
You're such a quoff!
by Messi July 13, 2012
 
5.
Hair, although short but somehow really big.
wow, that guy has a really nice quoff
by Ali April 24, 2003