Socially retarded, untrained, Unintelligent, unattractive person often employed to work an unnecessary position.
Look at that security plonker over there, hasnt done an ounce of work all day!
by Locnes November 15, 2016
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1. An abundantly large penis, possessed of both girth and width

2. A large stool that lands with a loud "plop" and sinks to the bottom of the toilet

3. An overweight or well-built stupid person
"Look at the meaty plonker at that guy, he'd break your pelvis"

"Some sneaky bastard left a meaty plonker in the toilet, I'll smoke him out"

"Get off the road you meaty plonker!! What are you trying to do, get us all killed?!"
by Ms Mongaliska January 5, 2014
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Classic plonker: a friendly term for an arsehole.
Why, my friend, you're really a classic plonker sometimes! What's a classic plonker? It's a friendly term for an arsehole, my friend...
by Drew Byrne. August 23, 2008
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Plonker is British slang for penis. Literally pull my plonker is to masturbate. But nowadays the expression someone is pulling my plonker is used with the meaning of someone is messing with me or trying to make fun of me.
This Brit told me in the UK the weather is always sunny and hot. 0bviously he was just pulling my plonker
by Teleco November 26, 2016
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An endearing, self-confidence-reducing term to be used when you have well and truly be fucked in the arse but a section of the powerlines track (Perth, WA). Usually consists of one: an overconfident 4x4 driver, two: a Land Rover Discovery, Three: a water crossing, and Four: a malfunctioning center differential.

A main situation timeline for the term "Done a Real Plonker" to be used is as such. See's water crossing, aims, drives through, bogs, sinks, floods car, gets towed out because, land rover..
Third Person "That guy Austin sure done a real plonker on himself driving like that in rear-wheel drive"
First Person "Ah fuck I've done a real plonker, this is the lowest point of my life and now my girlfriend is gonna leave me and get stuck in the washing machine with her step brother nearby"
by 12HT4Lyfe October 31, 2023
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expression used after a practical joke has been played on a fellow subordinate
"Hey Jim... your mother is dead"
"oh my god really....?"
"Nah ...only pulling your plonker"
by Big Jakey T March 17, 2003
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Plonker๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€ is a slur used to describe how the person Mace is.
Lauren, AM, Rodrigo, Nick and Ben:

Hey Plonker๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€ i hope you had a lovely day!

Mace: STOP BEING F**K**G MACEPHOBIC
by Maybe Stan Boy November 4, 2021
Get the Plonker๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€ mug.