Christians have the Bible.
Jews have the Torah.
Muslims have the Koran.
Hipsters who are between the ages of 20-30 and claim to live in Williamsburg (but who really still live with their mom in Queens) have Pitchfork Media.
Jews have the Torah.
Muslims have the Koran.
Hipsters who are between the ages of 20-30 and claim to live in Williamsburg (but who really still live with their mom in Queens) have Pitchfork Media.
Normal guy: Hey, let's go try that restaurant in Tribeca.
Hipster: I only want to go if it received an 8.0 or higher on Pitchfork.
Hipster: I only want to go if it received an 8.0 or higher on Pitchfork.
by steaksalad101 July 28, 2009
Also known as Pitchfork Media. A pretentious, elitist, hype-mongering, trend-obsessed piece of shit website that specializes in "independent music".
Known for giving gushing reviews to anything that sounds remotely obscure. Even if the music itself actually sucks. No, wait, ESPECIALLY if the music itself actually sucks.
Too bad it only exists in online format or else I'd wipe my ass with their sorry excuses for reviews.
Also, all too appropriately, every hipster's holy grail.
Known for giving gushing reviews to anything that sounds remotely obscure. Even if the music itself actually sucks. No, wait, ESPECIALLY if the music itself actually sucks.
Too bad it only exists in online format or else I'd wipe my ass with their sorry excuses for reviews.
Also, all too appropriately, every hipster's holy grail.
HIPSTER: Hey did you see Pitchfork's review of the new animal collective? It got a 9.6, so it's obviously one of the quintessential albums of the decade.
MUSIC FAN: I think I'd rather listen to Tool's "Lateralus"
HIPSTER: Psshh, lame!! pitchfork only gave that album a 1.9. Tool obviously sucks to anyone with taste in music
MUSIC FAN: Riight. But you obviously have amazing taste since you base your opinions entirely off of Pitchfork's numerical rating system. Way to go douche bag.
MUSIC FAN: I think I'd rather listen to Tool's "Lateralus"
HIPSTER: Psshh, lame!! pitchfork only gave that album a 1.9. Tool obviously sucks to anyone with taste in music
MUSIC FAN: Riight. But you obviously have amazing taste since you base your opinions entirely off of Pitchfork's numerical rating system. Way to go douche bag.
by EonBlue987 August 8, 2009
a device used to anal-probe self-righteous pricks who pretend they created all of the bands they listen to and have never considered another's opinion on anything.
by le assclown March 29, 2005
Mike: "Yo I had a threesome last night"
John: "Was it a love sandwich or a devils threeway?"
Mike: "Neither, I was pitchforking"
John: "Was it a love sandwich or a devils threeway?"
Mike: "Neither, I was pitchforking"
by TheRealGhostbusters September 2, 2015
by cock whore June 25, 2003
Two men wrap legs with boners to start pitchforking, whoever gets a penis in their butthole got pitchforked.
by Holetrain March 10, 2014
(v.) What happens when you don't move out from your parent's basement, instead prolonging college-lifestyle mentalities.
When he was 22, he was okay, but he's pitchforked in his parents basement looking at internet porn all the time.
by Roger Dodger February 21, 2004