1. A skewbald or piebald (US paint) horse whose attitude to life is such that it causes those who encounter him to doubt the soundness of mind of the horse and indeed the owner/rider.

2. A complete bellend of a horse who appears to be offended by mediocrity, so his decision-making and antics ensure his lack of talent in his chosen discipline is masked by the chaos, comedy and damage caused to property and person.

3. Generally a shite eventer.
Insurance Claims person “So you hadn’t even left the yard and you expect me to believe that the horsebox just... fell apart?”

Owner “No. wait. The patchy twat took offence to the partition and galloped through the horsebox before he realised the front ramp wasn’t down.”

Insurance claim person. “Oh.... that’s fine. Claim approved. You probably should have mentioned that your horse is a patchy twat at the start of the call.”
by ShiteEventer December 12, 2020
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'Patchy' is any multi coloured horse and 'twat' meaning idiot, stupid or downright naughty pony, can also be written as one word 'patchytwat'
Tried riding today but my horse is being a right patchy twat
by Nupty dumpty December 13, 2020
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A skewbald or piebald horse that spends considerably more time trying to embarrass it’s rider (often by throwing them off) than it does trying to clear a fence/complete a dressage test/follow any other instructions. Often ridden by a shit eventer.
The patchy twat threw me at the first fence in the cross country today
by Poppy B December 12, 2020
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A word used to describe a coloured/skewbald/piebald/paint/pinto horse when it behaves in an undesirable way.
My patchy twat just bolted down the road because he saw his own reflection in a puddle.
by demhorses December 12, 2020
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A girl or boy who forgot to moisturize before doing their makeup, and has patches and blotches of makeup all over his or her face. She is also referred to a pumpkin, if her foundation or concealer is too dark, and she or he ends up an orange color.
Look how Natalie did her makeup today. She is definitely a Patchy Pumpkin.
by nostalgia nikki May 26, 2017
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A spotted or paint equine displaying all tendencies of being devil's spawn or other antisocial behavior; A multi-coloured horse or pony that acts like a fuckwit.
I have metalwork in my wrist from the last patchy twat I rode. I won’t be doing that again!
by Dressageimposter December 12, 2020
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a term given to an adolescent boy who has just resorted to heavily smoking dope to relieve stress or just pass the time
Kid 1- Why havent we seen mike around lately

Kid 2- i dont know man
Kid 3- he's becomng patchy clark more and more everyday!!!
by btown nk May 29, 2010
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