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one-eyed willy 

A Goonies favorite. This is when you cum in a girl's eye, kick her in the shin, and run away as if you set off a series of booby traps. The desired effect is to get her hopping on one leg while holding the other, and covering one of her eyes with her free hand. Resembling the famous pirate (or Mama Fratelli if she's fat). Arrgh!
Last night at the frat party, this girl was so drunk and fugly, I ended up one-eyed willying her.

One-Eyed Willy 

When a man is lying on his back while the woman is jerking him off in the dark, as he's about to shoot his load, he leans up and she (intentionally or unintentionally) aims his "one-eyed peg leg" at his eye. When the cum hits his eye, he grabs it, and yells, ARRRRRRGGHHHHH....
I thought that I would be mad that my old lady gave me a one-eyed willy last night, but after measuring the distance..."I'M THE MAN!!!!!"

One Eyed Willy 

A One Eyed Willy always looks better circumcised
One Eyed Willy by Bungalow Bill October 18, 2001

One eyed Willy 

When a girl is so turned on during sex that she begs you to cum inside her. After she gets off, she’s mad because she has to go get that plan B, so she punches you in the eye.
Damn dude, my girl gave me a one eyed Willy last night.

One Eyed Willy 

After not participating in any type of sexual activity for months, you finally jerk off into a girl’s face with a geyser load so big and powerful it forces her eyeball back into her brain, rendering her socket empty and causing her to wear an eye patch for the rest of her life.
It had been so long since I blew a load when I finally did, I turned Shaquanda into a One Eyed Willy.

One Eyed Willy's Eye Patch 

a prophylactic or condom; jimmy hat.
(AKA, Gonad Goggles, Spunk or Splooge Spittoon, Pricknic Basket, or Uterus Excluderous)
Have to go to the pharmacy and pick up a couple of boxes of One-Eyed Willy's Eyepatches...remember, two nuts driving a hot rod should always wear a helmet!