A personal favorite. When you’re banging a shallow, bleached-blonde, little rich girl, turn off all the lights and start recording the festivities on your night vision equipped DV cam. Then after banging her every which way and you’re ready to cum, make this rich bitch scream twice. By shooting it into both her Louis Vuitton bag and Manolo Blahnik shoes.
Last night, after P. Diddy's birthday party, I left with Tara Reid and paris hilton'd her all night long.
Here's a tricky maneuver that even Russell Crowe might have some difficulty with. While sitting on your partner's forehead, place your balls over her eyes and your dick over her nose. Giving the appearance of a Roman battle helmet. Then exclaim "Am I not merciful?!" Also known as Arabian Goggles.
Last night, after watching Gladiator, Cyndi wanted to slide on my roman battle helmet.
A time honored event in which, while laying the bone doggy-style
, you insert two fingers deep into the girl’s starfish. Pull it out, then reach around and wipe the residue across her upper lip, leaving her a thin, shit mustache. Making her resemble someone who would be called Dirty Sanchez.
Last night, after leaving the bar, I met this lil slut
outside and dirty sanchez'd her in the back of the limo.
A Goonies favorite. This is when you cum in a girl's eye, kick her in the shin, and run away as if you set off a series of booby traps. The desired effect is to get her hopping on one leg while holding the other, and covering one of her eyes with her free hand. Resembling the famous pirate (or Mama Fratelli if she's fat). Arrgh!
Last night at the frat party, this girl was so drunk and fugly, I ended up one-eyed willying her.
From the doggy-style
position, you hook your pinky fingers in her mouth and pull back to achieve deeper penetration.
Last night, after watching Bass Masters on ESPN, I double fishhooked Lorraine so hard, I split her upper lip. It was fucking great!
After you fuck an Irish girl in the ass, you give her a dead leg
. As her leg shakes uncontrollably, it will look as if she is doing the Irish jig.
Last night, after leaving the pub with Cathleen. We went back to my place and I gave her the best Irish jig since St. Patrick's Day 2001.
This happens when you're banging a real fatty. As you watch the rippling effects of her rolls with each thrust, the feeling of being drenched, off balance, out of control, and in danger, give you the sense of being George Clooney's character during The Perfect Storm. Also known as Surfing.
Last night, I had a nightmare being trapped with Star Jones in a perfect storm.