hat-on-foot retarded 

Being drunk, high, or just generally stupid to the the point where you'd do something absolutely retarded like attempting to wear a hat on your foot.

Charlie- "Yo did you see that drunken idiot who lost his shoes?"
Dennis- "Yeah he tried to wear his hat on his foot!"
Charlie- "That asshole is hat-on-foot retarded!'

hat-on-foot retarded by Chris_Wright September 26, 2009

Put on Foot Patrol 

1. To work a job which involves walking or standing for the full duration of the shift.

2. To make someone walk to their destination, particularly if they are in your car or home.

1. five-o got put on foot patrol, Britney ain't finding a john tonight.

2. A: How'd you and Britney go last night?
B: She's a tease, so I put her on foot patrol in the middle of The 101.

Put on Foot Patrol by Intwit November 22, 2011

Piss on my foot and tell me its raining 

To tell a fabrication in such a way as to be ridiculously transparent; misleading; doing one thing, and purposely mislabeling it; bold face liar

Don't pretend that's as low as the price gets,I know the blue book value of that car, and its about three thousand less than what you want, so don't piss on my foot and tell me its raining! or I saw you kiss her, thats not how cousins kiss, so don't piss on my foot and tell me its raining!

Piss on my foot and tell me its raining by Sabrina Burton September 11, 2008

keep your foot on the sausage 

Do something with urgency and follow through. Make sure it's well executed.

When running rallies in a game to defeat monsters, when the score counts for your entire alliance. keep your foot on the sausage.

keep your foot on the sausage by Alcoth November 8, 2023

one foot on a banana peel and the other one out the door 

To be in a very precarious position, most commonly used when a person is in imminent danger of being fired from their job.

The way John has been fucking up at work lately, I wouldn't be surprised if he has one foot on a banana peel and the other one out the door.

one foot on a banana peel and the other one out the door by Libertine October 4, 2005

That's not a boot on your foot 

This means that something isn't someone else's problem.

Person 1: "Hey watcha doing there?"
Person 2: "That's not a boot on your foot. Now leave me alone."

That's not a boot on your foot by jimminycrickety January 5, 2013

one foot on the boat, one on the dock

The delusion of stability, an instant before everything goes to hell.

The deal was set, he'd committed to buy, still not sure when his financing would be approved, but hey, if you have one foot on the boat, one on the dock, what can go wrong?

one foot on the boat, one on the dock by Monkey's Dad April 24, 2023