Mormons Are And Forever will be Retarded. Their Beliefs are laughed upon by Every other religion, and Jesus laughs Upon them too. First of all, Indians Were NEVER White, and God did not "Turn them RED". Second, Jesus Never lived in America. Third, Dont make up a religion for Brain Washing little kids into being future Fucks of America. And Lastly, Joseph Smith was not a "Hero", and not even close to a "Prophet", He was a man who obtained Opium from the Navajo Indians, and made up ridiculous thoughts which basically make up your religion today Latter Day Fucks. Congratulations, Your the Offspring of a straight up Homo who had butt sex with animals.
What's the difference between a dead dog lying in the road, and a Dead Mormon lying in the Road? The Dead Dog had Skid marks leading up to its body.
by Greg Wall April 21, 2008
A home-grown American cult that grew into a world religion. Is loosely based on the more popular cult called "Christianity" (which is, of course, based in the cult of Judaism with a little Mithraism thrown in).

Like Catholicism, has its own secret rituals, shady hierarchy, and massive amounts of guilt and shame thrust upon its adherents.
"I'm a Mormon because I was brainwashed from birth to believe that some asshole racist prospector talked to god, gave no proof for his claims, and now am forced to feel guilty every time I think about poontang"
by Adam Harris Dawkins June 15, 2007
A person who believes in the book of mormon, other religions reject them saying that the book of mormons is fake, also called a cult.Most of the mormons live in Utah.
I am a mormon and I follow the Book of Mormons.
by Ctarrh June 13, 2006
Descendents of aliens from the planet Mormog, whose mothership crash-landed in the middle of what is known today as Salt Lake City, Utah. In an attempt to fit in, they adopted the dominant religion, Christianity, and twisted certain aspects around to suit their alien ways of life. The main compartment of the ruined craft survived however. It is buried approximately a mile underneath their greatest temple, and is heavily guarded by purposely grown (and carefully trained) biological monstrosities. The reason for all this security is that the craft harbors advanced mind-warping technology. Should they ever bring their advanced alien science into light, Mormons could tear the very fabric of Western society. Every non-Mormon mind would be enslaved to a great machine - an undetected, disembodied entity hidden (like the preserved remains of their ship) underneath their great temple - and forced to do their bidding. Those who resist would be exterminated via their lethal, telepathic powers. You have been warned.
The Osmonds are Mormons.
by Andrew Bastard May 16, 2006
A cult known for it's insane and ugly women and socially inept men.
Those Mormons, man! I can't talk to one of them without them frequently quoting Monty Python, or going off on some rant about how awesome Joseph Smith was.
by trollgeneral5million December 28, 2010
A name for a someone who does each of the following:
1. Glares at anyone without blonde hair or stupid plastered smile.
2. Rides their bike in the middle of the road, slowing all the real transportation down.
3. Knocks on your door with two friends, one may be the Anti-Christ
4. Believe women should get a lobotomy and keep pushing out more robot children
5. Never leave Salt Lake Valley because everything outside the walls are a danger to them and their children.
6. Believe African Americans are the devil
7. Stick to meat and potatoes every night, because they were born without taste buds
8. Will almost run your car off the road just to get themselves to church faster.
9. Make people cringe with how many children the pop out
10. Get married right out of high school to unsure the rest of their life is just making babies and network marketing
11. Decorating their home will send them to hell
Look at how many ob gyns there are on this street! We must be near mormons..
by traptINslc November 06, 2010
* Proper term is LDS
* They believe the following:

1) Believe God's name is Elloheem

2) Jesus and Satan are brothers

3) After the ressurection Jesus came to America, helped the Lamenites (Native Americans) win a great war, then wrote it on gold plates.

4) Elloheem is a pimp married multiple bitches and has lots of ghost babies

5) People need to have lots of kids, so the ghost babies can be born, even though some can't afford the ones they already have

6) Satan had an uprising, took his followers to Earth where they tell everyone to do bad things

7) Elloheem didn't like the angels who remained neutral in the great angel war, so he turned them into Black people

8) If people are good enough, they turn White and recieve their own planet

9) Joseph Smith is their idol and is bigger than Jesus and the Beetles

10) They also wear magic pajamas that protect them from ALL harm

11) They can't take anything which alters their state of mind such as: drugs, alcohol, and caffine (even though a vast majority of them keep the mtn dew industry running strong)
mormon, mormon, mormon...
by Hyperaktivemind July 27, 2010

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