1. a mustache thinner than one left by milk or kool aid reticent of creepers. 2. often found on the upper lips of hipsters who are on a quest for the truly ironic handlebar mustache but for some reason or another fail at attaining glory. they often make up for this lack of facial handlebars by riding around town on a neon fixed gear bike (with sweet handlebars) 3. sometimes found on men sporting mock turtlenecks. 4. found when boys skinny jeans are too tight and their leg hair sprouts on their upper lip instead.
"hey i heard you were trying to get a job at that local record bike store vegan organic cafe?"
"yeah, i don't think i fit in though...I don't have a molestache."
"but you're a girl..."
by oopseiffelover March 07, 2010
21 more definitions
Top Definition
A group of bristles or hairs about the mouth of a man who cannot seem to grow it in fully. Sometimes this is caused by the subject going through puberty, but it is generally thought that Darwin's theory of evolution may take part in this phenomenon.(if a person is undesirable, his body may not allow him to have normal bodily functions...like growing hair on his face.) This act of trying to grow facial hair but horribly failing is usually perpetrated by child molesters and heshers for some unknown reason.(or possibly the Darwinist theory above)
That guy over there in the trenchcoat reading teen beat has a killer Molestache!
by pimphuge February 25, 2003
MOLESTache, the unfashionable mustache that rapists pedophiles(child MOLESTers) and dictators wear.
BTK killer, Hitler, Stalin all have a molestache. Exemptions Burt Reynolds(only).
by jamesemoryjackson July 22, 2006
A group of thin, wispy hairs located on the upper lip that the wearer believes constitutes facial hair. Much like he believes her thin, wispy cries constitute consent.
Hey, nice molestache...wait, what are you doing? Don't touch me, just--no! Oh, God! Help! Please, someone! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!
by mart1779 February 11, 2009
Part Mustache. Part Molest. 100% Pure Sexy.
Hide the children! That creepy man with the molestache is in town again.
by Lom Johnson July 23, 2009
A certain type of moustache worn by people who either are or will be on a list of local sex offenders.
"Dude look at Captain Crunch's molestache, he totally touches children."
by the cotck August 20, 2009
A horrible grow of hair on the upper lip halfway between peach fuzz and a mustache. This frighting facial hair is often grow on the lip of a teenage boy either trying to look manly or simply refusing to shave. Can also appear on the face of an old woman.
Oh look at Jim he really needs to shave he is getting a molestache.
by psizzle93 January 30, 2009

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