As referenced by famous chef Michael Glennon : A creepy mustache often seen on a man or woman who molests people or things.
That creepy guy in the panel van has a molestache
by Chiquita bonana October 29, 2010
A mustache so disturbingly creepy, it literally molests your eyeballs. It also has been known to put women and men into a trance, whereupon the victim awakens, disrobed with the sneaking suspicion he or she has been raped.
Janine: Holy shit that was close!
Ugly Jane: What was?
Janine: The molestache on that trucker over there almost caught me in its trailer-tractor beam. Now come on, let's scram before we black out and wake up raped!
Ugly Jane: You go on ahead, I'm gonna get my fuck on.
by The Molestache Man May 18, 2011
a mustache that resembles that which a child molester, such as David Westerfield, might have.
Did you see that guy's molestache Yeah he looks like such a creeper.
by LexiB February 10, 2009
type of mustache: not quite a pornstache but just as creepy.
looks like: John Mayer trying to grow a Tom Selleck mustache. John Mayer has a molestache.
by skweakrz February 21, 2011
Any moustache, beard, sideburns, or any combination of aforementioned types of facial hair grown in such a way, or worn by such a person, as to convey a sense of creepiness; short for 'molester moustache.' Originally coined by
Abraham Finkbeinner in some filthy frathouse basement.
Isaac, you filthy man! With that woodland camo hat, plaid shirt, and tattered jeans, your otherwise respectable facial hair has become a Molestache!!

Look at that creepy guy in that panel van, with the mullet and Molestache.
by Stephen Nazzaro August 29, 2006
a Mustache Child Molesters Always Seem To have
"That Creepy Weird Guy Had A Molestache!"
by trillrichmain May 29, 2013
Creepy facial hair, whether wispy thin or curled into odd shapes, patently unattractive to adult women; Clear perv alert.
Woman #1: Did you hear your neighbor is on the Megan's Law website?!

Woman #2: I knew it! He had a molestache!
by Tempest Fugit March 09, 2012

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