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mitteration

mitteration

Speaking like Mitt Romney. Boring, pointless droning on political topics with minimal show of emotion and frozen facial expression as he lies and changes political stances from minute to minute. Listening first produces a zombie-like state followed by unconsciousness.
A mitteration:

I am strongly in favor of a woman's right to choose.

(Next day) Unless she chooses an abortion.

(Two days later) Or to marry another woman.

(Three days late) Women shouldn't need to choose anything, they should be subservient to their husbands.
mitteration by docsterx September 13, 2012
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misterbation 

Similar to masturbation, but without completion. See also doctorbation.

Suppose you have the last name Bate. Surely by know you have heard many jokes about being called "Master". But even a proper title can be funny.
I barely had time to misterbate before the bathroom door was rudely opened.

murteration

A word used in a famous quote.
"Patience may be a virtue, but murteration is a sin"
murteration by Allan Cook September 19, 2012

matterbation 

The stroking of a matter vigorously back and forth in your cerebrum with great intensity until conclusion.
Materbation without conclusion causes great pain and discomfort.
I was struggling with matterbation as to wether she really cared for me. As I reached "conclusion" I realized to my pleasure that she did.
matterbation by Steven Wylie August 5, 2006

Matterbation 

an individual that jerks off in the washroom at work
Matt disappears daily for a good vigorous session of Matterbation
Matterbation by dumbass1 June 1, 2015

mittuation 

A screw-up regarding a baseball glove.
MLB players take their games --- and da rules pertaining to same --- very seriously, so if any alleged hanky-panky comes to light regarding da catching-gloves worn by any of da players, that is likely gonna spark a full-blown mittuation!
mittuation by QuacksO April 1, 2021

mittygation 

Reducing da sting of negativity by behaving in a fantasy-based manner and invalidly claiming grandiose accomplishments.
Mr. Bean surely practiced a lot of mittygation during his infamous escapades.
mittygation by QuacksO April 5, 2022