60 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Minnesota plant gardens.
50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Duluth sunbathe.
40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Minnesota drive with the
windows down.
32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Bemidji gets thicker.
20 above zero:
Floridians
don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Minnesota have the last cookout before it gets
cold.
Zero:
People in Miami all die.
Minnesotans close the
windows.
10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico .
People in Minnesota get out their winter coats.
25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door to door.
40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot
air.
People in Minnesota let the
dogs sleep indoors.
100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Minnesotans get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.
460 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.)
People in Minnesota start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"
500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Minnesota public schools
will open 2 hours late.
