Minnesota Icy Hot

An act first performed by the Mdewakanton Sioux of Prior Lake, Minnesota, it is a complicated and highly dangerous sexual act/exotic dance ritual/rite of passage for young Native American men once they turn 18. First, the person coats their testicles in a flammable petroleum jelly. Then the tribal elder lights a torch and brings the torch to the coated testicles and lights it. Then the young man must find and wrangle a moose and ride it into a frozen lake. Once the fire is out he must perform a highly erotic and complicated dance, which involves going up to a young woman and hitting her with his scrotum Once this is complete, he becomes a man.

Guy 1: Dude, did you hear about Charlie Moose Horn? He was performing his Minnesota Icy Hot and he accidentally died!
Guy 2: I guess that's what happens when you put Vaseline on your balls and try to ride a moose into a lake...
Guy 1: Native Americans are weird...

Minnesota Icy Hot by xXxXXxxSharryIsHotXxXxx May 23, 2016

Minnesota 

60 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Minnesota plant gardens.

50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Duluth sunbathe.

40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Minnesota drive with the windows down.

32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Bemidji gets thicker.

20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Minnesota have the last cookout before it gets cold.

Zero:
People in Miami all die.
Minnesotans close the windows.

10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico .
People in Minnesota get out their winter coats.

25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door to door.

40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Minnesota let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Minnesotans get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.

460 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.)
People in Minnesota start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"

500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Minnesota public schools will open 2 hours late.

Minnesotans may be called hicks, they may be in the middle of nowhere, but they are tougher than hell! (see: 500 below zero)

Minnesota by starslugger09 December 12, 2008

Minnesota Goodbye 

The act applying to most Minnesotants while visiting others in which, when one person has to leave, they proceed to talk for another hour, then the departing party is walked to the front door, where they talk for another hour, then the departing party gets walked to their car while the host family talks to them through the car window for an hour, and finally the departing couple SLOWLY departs down the drive, yelling back & forth with the host family.

The couple from Texas was extremely irritated by the Minnesota Goodbye they received while visiting their distant relatives.

Minnesota Goodbye by Jordan has Skills July 29, 2006

Minnesota tissue 

A nick name members of the band Nirvana used around their 1990 tour in particular krist and Kurt used this name.
Minnesota tissue was a nickname for apparently "a made up sheriff of Aberdeen Washington".

as seen from their home video on the plane ride over look it up on youtube

Kurt: Me and my partner tree frog johnson gunna rip you a new butthole
Krist: Who do you think you are?
Kurt:Minnesota tissue!

Minnesota tissue by Jaden_pantsoff February 1, 2008

minnesota ball slap 

Slapping one's balls with any icy hand that's been held in the freezer for a minimum of 10 minutes.

I'm still sore and a little chilly from Gerry's malevolent minnesota ball slap last night!

minnesota ball slap by Coco Sean July 1, 2016

Minnesotan Goodbye

Standard method of departing a Minnesotan social event or interaction. After a person announces he or she is leaving, person and host proceed to talk for 30 - 60 more minutes in the doorway or parking lot before leaving. Length of time between announcement of departure and actual exit is directly proportional to length of the relationship and inversely proportional to the outdoor air temperature.

Lars: "Well we better head out, great party, though. Awesome beer."

Sven: "Oh fer sure, the beer was home brewed, donchaknow."

*Lars and Sven stand in Erik's foyer and go on a tangent about microbrews for an hour.

Lars: "Oh look at the time, sorry to do a Minnesotan goodbye!"

Minnesotan Goodbye by princess lila July 4, 2016

Minnesota 

People:
Nice. Minnesotans are nicer if you went to highschool/college with them. Out-of-staters don't do so well. To be really accepted, you have to be from here.
Weather:
Winter:
IT'S COLD. Somehow, the cold in MN will freeze the marrow in your bones. You will wonder why the HELL you live here every morning.
Minnesotans pride themselves that it only gets "cold" here when it hits negative temperatures. We get excited when it gets above freezing.
Summer:
Best summer in the world. Lakes, flawless temperature, sunny. Birds singing and blue skies. Ice cream and popcorn at Lake Harriet. Canoeing in the Boundary Waters. Going to the cabin. Life is really good.
Spring/Fall: Normal.
Recreation:
We know how to have a good time. We aren't all about ice fishing. We can have raging parties. Come to MN, make the right friends, and enjoy.
We also have the Mall of America, which kinda spoils us.
The Twin Cities=AWESOME. You want metropolitan, cool, and all the amenities of a Chicago/New York City without the stress. Minneapolis. Urban shops, cool boutiques, weird hole-in-the-walls, amazing band venues.
More artsy, alternative? St. Paul. Rich in history and art, all the hipsters love St. Paul.
Sports:
Overall, our sports teams are OK. Our biggest asset is the Vikings, which as of 2011, sucked, but Vikes fans bleed gold and purple. We are the best fans in the world.
\

Kid: I'm from California.

Kid #2: I'm from Kansas.

Minnesota Kid: I'm from Minnesota.

Everyone: *DAMMMNNNN*

Minnesota by minnesotagirleveryday October 10, 2012