Midwife Crisis

The act of dropping a newborn on its head shortly after birth.

Please direct your thoughts and prayers to little Jimmy, Nurse Butterfingers had a midwife crisis.

by Aaron Gibbs September 3, 2007

Mexican Midwife

When taking a dump with a turd half-way in and half-way out, flush the toilet and have the suction pull the rest of the turd out of you like a midwife delivering a baby.

It was a hard shit until I used the Mexican Midwife.

by The Gooch2 January 27, 2009

Midwife Crisis

The period of time after a divorce when a man gets in shape, buys new clothes and a flashy car. Usually fairly short lived as remarriage is imminent. Very similar to a midlife crises but not age related.

Have you seen John's new wardrobe? Ever since his divorce he is having total midwife crisis.

by CardWa January 22, 2008

midwife crisis

A state of anxiety triggered by finding oneself in the process of giving birth

"Oh my God- I'm having a midwife crisis!"

by 321 barbie February 6, 2012

Website Midwife

Noun: a person that produces or aids in producing a new website.

I love your new site. It has excellent search engine placement, loads quick, great graphics…who’s your website midwife?

by AL!CE @ i Birth websites March 7, 2010

Chocolate Midwife

1. Shitting in one's own hand.
2. The part played by a male/female in assisting a fudge torpedo into the toilet bowl.
3. Scat play, where one covers themselves in shit and continues to wait for more, hands outstetched.

'My girlfriend decided she wanted to play the chocolate midwife.'

by Tund March 6, 2008

Midwife Crisis

When a midwife is performing a long and vigorous delivery and needs to change her tampon desperately

The baby cried too much because of a midwife crisis.

by Andy K April 18, 2004