A dude who likes making music and is-if judging on musical standards and not personal bias-pretty damn good at it. In my personal opinion a great screamer, but that's not for everybody. Come on folks, shut the fuck up about him being a "god". If you actually got any of his music you'd realize he's just dicking around when he acts like he has an ego because existence itself doesn't matter at all and he knows that, so why not let your anger and other demons out in a song so you can move on with your day?

In other words? Stop being that dude who listens to Sober and goes "This song is about me and my girlfriend. -Sob.-" No, no it's not.

Oh and by the way, kudos to someone for finally writing a song telling fans who rag on their band to fuck off. If you actually listen to Hooker With A Penis, it's directed at fans who are like "ONGZ THIS SOUNDS TOO MAINSTREAM!" and the fact that they support the mainstream just by listening to Tool because you're still giving money to record companies run by corporate fatcats, thus creating awful hypocrisy.
Tool (ironic): Oh my god, Maynard James Keenan is such a god, I wanna fuck him all night long cuz he's like so hot and relates to me so much. Listen to Sober! It's such a great song for when you're feeling bummed after a breakup.

Non-tool: ...I think maybe you're just retarded and don't get it. Like, anything about life. At all. I don't even know why someone would bother trying to explain this on Urban Dictionary.
by DoesItReallyMatterSeriously January 07, 2010
One of modern/progressive rocks most influential singer and songwriters.
Moving lyrics, belted or mourned,that shatter everything you were "made " to believe as a child. Open and heal.Open as grasp your life.
by Mikey- Lou May 14, 2004
vocalist for quite possibly the best band ever formed, a band that pretty much reaches musical perfection, also probably the best singer rock music has ever seen.
not needed
by joe April 01, 2004
A short, but very talented little man who is the lead singer for the legendary hard rock band Tool. He has an incredible voice but thinks a bit too highly of himself, and pretty much thinks he and the band are more intelligent than anyone else. He basically thinks only he is the one who has the intelligent view on life. He really is intelligent, but he needs to chill out a bit.
Maynard James Keenan-I hate our fans. Every religion is false because I'm so intellectual. You're dumb because you have a different theory on the meaning of life than me. Everyone who lives in L.A. is a dipshit.
by The Mandon November 07, 2010
Picture a burnt Kermit the Frog. Now picture that thing yelling nonsense in front of a band that quit trying in 1995. That's it.
An example of the above definition of Maynard James Keenan is pretty much everything from mid-way through the album "Undertow" until the present. Also, he is friends with Tori Amos, so that should be enough, right?
by simpson74 August 05, 2010
Maynard is titties. Titties are Maynard.
lol, maynard is titties.
by Drewhallsucks.com September 04, 2004
Extremely talented asshole who doesn't appreciate his sickingly adoring fans, who almost measure at the same height of wankerdom as Maynard himself. Every one of them would give him a rimjob on command, and seem to also like Trent Reznor (See; Overrated).
"OH MAH GOD, MAYNARD IS LYKE DA BEST EVA~! HE IS MY GOD! Not dat i beleev in god cos it aint cool."

"You hit your girlfriend? You ass, when did you become such a Maynard?"
by Indeedeth! December 21, 2004
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