A Matthew is an amazing best friend and big brother. Matthew can be kind of emo sometimes, but is cooler than all the other emo kids. He doesn't think he looks good, but everyone, even straight guys, thinks he's a stud. He loves to play video games and has a really boring security job that should pay him more money. Matthew is obsessed with cookies and hates Fedex because they always eat his cookies and other desserts, such as carrot cake, that his sister tries to mail to him. Matthew is the big brother that all parents want for their daughters. He is protective and rescues his sister from creepers, sex machines, and other horrible men/boyfriends. Matthew has a lot of female friends because he is such a sweet guy and all the girls want him. In fact, so many girls want him that he's single because he can't choose! Yeah. That's how awesome he is. Other guys are jealous of Matthew because their girlfriends secretly want to do him.
Girl: Whoa, Matthew's a stud!
Johnny Depp: What about me?
Girl: Ew, Matthew makes you look hideous...
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