Top Definition
Nothing to do with the name, but modern English slang for a WOSP. Reputed to be a remnant belonging to a failed branch of evolution, malcolms are usually, but not exclusively, male. Having no social skills, they are inept and uncoordinated. Unconcerned with the sensitivity of others, they fail to appreciate the benefits of personal hygiene and of being honest and truthful, something that makes malcolms a liability in the workplace. In addition they are invariably sycophantic, crawling round the boss at every opportunity in the belief that this is a substitute for ability; they are untrustworthy and will not hesitate to badmouth colleagues if they see a potential advantage. Bullies by temperament and cowards by nature, malcolms will attempt to force others into doing their work but when met with resistance they run to the boss with a complaint supported by lies. Unfortunately malcolms are all too common and spread discord and unpleasantness wherever they appear. It is hoped that the British Government will authorise a malcolm cull in much the same way as they did for badgers, as a malcolm is less use than a badger's arse.
"That malcolm is attempting to browbeat Sheila again."
#wosp #waster #failure #crawler #creep
by AKACroatalin April 07, 2015
1)a revolutionary boss, some one powerful and influential.
*drived from respect to Malcolm X

2)someone of popularity who allways recives much female campanionship.
my man is the malcolm of the neighborhood
#boss #pimp #king #revolutionary #powerful
by li'l Ray Ray jr. June 01, 2006
The best boyfriend in the whole world. Future husband, and soul mate. He loves his girlfriend with all of his heart and she loves him the same way. He reminds her that shes beautiful and always tells her he loves her. He is kind, athletic, caring, loving, handsome, sexy, and the best guy a girl could ever wish for.
Malcolm: You are so beautiful.
Girl: Awwww you're so sweet.
Malcolm: I love you so much.
Girl: I love you too!
#synonyms: sweet #handsome #caring #loving #sexy
by Malcolmlover<3 January 24, 2010
The opposite of a catalyst, a Malcolm will act as a retardent to any process, slowing it to the point where the rate of advancement of any task is almost immeasurably slow.
The job was running on schedule but, since we started using Malcolm, we're not even anticipating an end date anymore.
#malcolm #retardent #inhibitor #work #slow
by Fles November 30, 2010
Someone who is totally useless, who thinks they are far cleverer than they really are and a nasty peice of work as well. They are prone to blaming other people for their failings, they lie with a straight face, but the lies are so outrageous that even a small amount of questioning reveals them for what they are. They invariably crawl round the boss and are sickeningly sycophantic. Usually overweight, they have personal hygiene issues, despite which they are narcissistic to an unbelievable degree. In short a Malcolm is a liability in the workplace and should never, under any circumstances, be allowed to breed.
Malcolm's made another king-sized fuck-up, he really does live up to his name.
#king-sized #fuck-up #crawler #liar #fuckwit
by Croatalin December 20, 2013
The most annoying kid you will ever meet. He seems nice at first but then turns out to be a huge douche bag.
That kid is such a Malcolm.
#douche #dick head #pussy #anus #dick
by jimsmith0055 June 03, 2015
The neighborhood creeper. Very funny and friendly, but sometimes a little too friendly...
Dear Lucia,

This morning I logged on to facebook, to gladly see that I have received 12 notifications. Although, I was not glad to see that approximately 8 of those notifications were from you liking my comments or posting in a group. Therefore, I have decided to comment rape you, which is probably why you are going to have like 20 notifications.

Sincerely,
Malcolm

Lucia- great

Malcolm- ok im done. how many notifications was that?

Lucia- 40. i hate you.
#creeper #funny #friendly #rape #comment
by mccauleycaulkin :D July 02, 2011
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