Linux is one of the most powerful contraceptives ever. The more one learns about Linux, the more powerful its fertility-stealing powers become.

Typical Linux users are a sensitive lot. This is because their entire self-esteem is tied up in knowing obscure piping and scripting techniques that nobody in the real world gives a fuck about. Supposedly, this makes them smarter. If a Linux user feels threatened about the coming obsolescence of his beloved OS, untold havoc will be unleashed. This will eventually produce lulz. For this reason, we reveal here the easiest ways to troll a Linux message board or IRC channel.

*If the subject of distros comes up, reply, "Yes, but what can <insert distro name> do that Ubuntu can't do?

*Claim that the Windows kernel design is better than Linux.

*Warn everyone that Mactel will destroy Desktop Linux

*Ask "But can it run BSD?"

*If the subject of CLI comes up, reply, "But you could do that with DOS twenty years ago!"

*Predict that Solaris will eventually destroy Linux

*Make completly baseless claims that you are the CEO of a major corportion (don't specify which one!) and say you see no future in Linux.

*Tell everyone that Linux isn't ready for grandma

*Quote Theo de Raadt

*Remind all Linux users that they are still virgins

*Point out that the BSD License is infinitely superior to the GPL

*Incessantly ask every user about what parts of the code in their kernel were stolen from SCO.

*Let it be known that you appreciate Clippy

*Ask if Wine can run <insert program here> yet.

*Use the phrase "total cost of ownership."

*Ask for advise on finding quality Linux games.

*Say that Linux is inferior for development because it doesn't have Visual Basic .NET

*Make it known that $699 (the fee you legally owe SCO if you use Linux) is $300 more than the price Windows Server 2003 Web Edition, which has more features, greater stability, and has been shown time and time again to have a higher ROI.
Fun things you can do with Linux:

*Update your drivers.

*Brag about your kernals.

*Say you use Linux (which will get your ass kicked)

*Eat KFC chicken around the clock.

*Manually edit config files

*Keep your virginity

*Uhh, well thats pretty much it.
by 1A1EC1E730C2 April 06, 2008

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A stable, (usually) freeware, operating system, limited in usefulness to most users. Good for running servers snd business machines but has major inherent flaws that prohibit it form ever becoming a truly mainstream OS for personal use. Its just too bulky and user-unfriendly to ever gain the popular eye.
Linux is a cool idea, but since its a pain to install and operate, and incompatible with nearly all software on the market, itll never get far beyond the geeks and zealots.
by Bogus December 14, 2004

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the operating system that every real pimp uses and relies on
I use Linux. Everyone uses Linux.
by pizzleonmynizzle November 16, 2003

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Contrary to what is claimed by many Windows-haters, not all versions of Linux are particularly good. The price you pay a stable OS is the amount of fuss and bother you undergo in trying to find a decent version of it!
I installed the free version of Linux that came with the book "Linux for Dummies". It didn't work. I am still trying to work out if there is any irony in the preceding two sentences.
by Dr Pinch September 15, 2004

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An operating system like Windows or Macintosh, owned by Linus Torvaldis, who is obsessed with penguins. His "mascot" dude is a penguin named Tux.
Linux has some cool games and programs.
by Elijah January 09, 2004

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The operating system* little boys employ in a vain attempt to appear computer-savvy due it's perceived complexity, which is really just a convoluted user interface stemming from the lack of higher cognitive ability found in Loonux 'programmers'.

As with any underdog**, you will find a horde of fumbling zealots defending Loonux, who, rather than pose arguments with a rational and verifiable basis, will simply parrot ignorant statements against the operating system(s) that put Loonux to shame (e.g, Windows). More often than not, these lower beings will resort to childish name-calling and irrelevant technical references which further compacts their own ineptitude.

* "Linux" as referred to here is of it's derivatives based on the Linux kernel.

** Windows currently holds 94.3% market share vs Linux's < 1% (As of May, 2009)
If you're ever in need of a guideline on how to write sloppy, inefficient, spaghetti code, then see: linux.org
by A.Senior.Software.Engineer May 10, 2009

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an operating system, created solely for computer geeks like my sister to argue about
Computer Geek 1: Linux is cool
Computer Geek 2: Linux is lame
by connman August 06, 2006

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