A fundamentalist Shiite Baptist cult intent on converting every non-believer or hurrying them on to Hell.
You apostate Catholics, Christ-killing Jews, mark-of Cain Negroes and pagan Chinamen gathered here at Landover Baptist church will either put your hand on the KJ1611 Bible and accept HIM or we'll put your brains on it.
by megnao flimpis July 31, 2003
A fictional religion based on false hope and lies. Takes advantage of the unknowing and relies on bashing all other religions in the effort to promote the agenda of making money and building its cult.
"Followers" of this religion get high on bashing, are hypocrites and hide their hatred towards others with fake "God Bless" notes.
Do not believe their lies, do not donate, do not follow.
"Followers" of this religion get high on bashing, are hypocrites and hide their hatred towards others with fake "God Bless" notes.
Do not believe their lies, do not donate, do not follow.
I saw the Landover Baptist member spitting on a Jew and suck the finger of Chris Harper, all on the same street corner.
by M_M_L_J April 16, 2010
Ultra-Right wing fundamentalists protestants? Well, I can agree with you concerning the ones that think the Pope is Satan himself, that the New World Order is coming (The UN army isn't big enough to police the state of Connecticut for fuck's sake, how the hell are they going to take over the world?), and a whole bunch of other shit. Note, the Landover Baptist website is a fucking PARODY, and isn't representative of the MAJORITY of Protestants out there, just the obsessive loonies. We're tolerant of people of different ethnicities, we don't believe in bombing abortion clinics (those who do obviously aren't "pro-life") and we most certainly do NOT go out Goth-hunting. I know that the site is just satire, but this shit is starting to get out of hand. I'll have to create a liberal/atheist parody site to keep shit "fair and balanced."
Landover Baptist is somewhat ironic, considering that they run parody ads making fun of Bush, yet a lot of conservatives I talk to are pissed at Bush. The only people who are blindly devoted to him anymore are those hicks who have a seething hatred for us "Yankees," just because we kicked their rebellious asses back in line during the Civil War.
by C-can February 9, 2004
A derogotory term for anyone, normally 50yr old virgins, who love the cock so hard it hurts them to see.
by Jimmy April 22, 2005
A fictional church located in the fictional universe of Freehold, Iowa; its website was created by Chris Harper and Paul A. Bradley as parody of Fundamentalist christianity; the website is known for it's satirical views on religion, christianity, and the Bible. Some people actually take it seriously, but it is purely satire.
Person A: "Hey did you read this Christian website?"
Person B: "No, what does it say?"
Person A: "It says that homosexuals have long hair."
Person B: "Didn't Jesus have long hair?"
Person A: "That's the thing: it says when Jesus accepted himself as Lord and Savior that the Holy Spirit whispered in his ear for him to get a hair cut."
Person B: "What, that's absurd! "
Person C: "Yeah, kinda sounds like Landover Baptist Church and its black propaganda."
Person B: "No, what does it say?"
Person A: "It says that homosexuals have long hair."
Person B: "Didn't Jesus have long hair?"
Person A: "That's the thing: it says when Jesus accepted himself as Lord and Savior that the Holy Spirit whispered in his ear for him to get a hair cut."
Person B: "What, that's absurd! "
Person C: "Yeah, kinda sounds like Landover Baptist Church and its black propaganda."
by Estelwen June 3, 2014