The fear of walking past a Scotsman on a windy day and their kilt blowing up to reveal a penis so infected it makes the blue waffle look edible.
Donald: It's a wee bit windy M'dear, I think you need to trim your beaver. It looks like the Jackson five's peaking out from under your skirt!
Fanny: Your small yeast infected mushroom is scaring my auntie, she has Kiltophobia remember?
Donald: Aye, but she can't see it if it's in her mouth.
Cigarette: Northern slang for a cigarette, used oft by mashed up mancunian ravers becasue of the resemblance of a hot(electric)stove to the end of a lit cigarette. Originated circa 1991 in the early halcyon days of the rave culture; we speculate during a drug fuelled hallucination by said manc.
'fuck me noel, i am bolloxed, is that a ciggy in your mouth, or the stove from me 'nans kitchen'/
General use: 'Give us a stove you cunt'
A hardo is a person who tries extremely hard at everything. Most times a hardo will try very hard at things that do not require excessive effort. For example, sports practices, gym class, etc.
Wow did you see Jack at practice today? What a hardo!