Top Definition
Combination of Kirk and Alberts, supposedly this guy has penis more than 2 times as wide as it is long, probably jsut a sick urban legend.
omfg THAT is a kalbert!
by East-Kentucky September 17, 2003
Shoving a fat round salami stick up your arse. (can use one of those dog food sausage things, yuuuuuuuuuuk!)
When Bob had finished cumming in her mouth, he decided to give her a kalbert with a 12 inch long, 5 inch wide, bavarian salami.
by Joe-Dirty September 17, 2003
A kalbert is a penis more than twice as wide as it is long. The namesake comes from the doctor who found the disorder (and incedentaly the first know case of kalberts) Kirk Alberts
wow look at that chode, its almost a kalbert
by chodie May 19, 2003
This dude Kirk Albets supposedly had a dick more than 2* as long as wide, so they made this word kalbert, meaning a dick more than two times as wide as it is long. The extreme form of a chode.
Tammy:I don't know how it will fit in me, its a Kalbert
Tom: It can be a trick to get in
by Dunks September 16, 2003
A serious deformity of the penis, causing it to grow mroe than twice as wide as long. Many bayb's with this disorder (although it is VERY rare) have there genitals cut off and a sex change performed at birth as it is easier on the baby phsychologically. Sometimes it is possible to cure through a secuence of penis enlargement operations.Ë?
in the locker room: "Hey look man, jimmy's got a kalbert!"
fallic deformity common among overweight caucasian, in which the penis is a least 2 times wider than it is long.
his kalbert was to wide to fit
by robert liu May 19, 2003
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