John Mulaney Syndrome
John Mulaney Syndrome by Absolute twat September 25, 2020
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John Mulaney
An Asian, high-waisted, tall child with feminine hips that tries to keep burning the candle at both ends while listening to "What's New Pussycat" on repeat. His life was forever changed when he went, "Oooooooohhhhhhhhh," and, "I'm sorry!" Overall, he is the tall, lanky Irishman that got pushed by a homeless, gay, AIDS-full man, looks like his kindergarten portrait with baggy eyes and yellowed teeth, and gets confused with a woman a shit ton.
John Mulaney: I'm standing in the basement and I'm holding a red cup - you see in movies - and I'm standing there and I'm holding a red cup and I'm starting to black out and I guess someone said like, "Something, something, police," and in a brilliant moment of word association, I yelled, "FUCK da police! FUCK da police," and everyone else joined in: 100 drunk, white children yelling, "Fuck 'da' police," with the confidence of guys that have like already been to jail and aren't afraid of it anymore. You know that, like "I served my nickel! You come and take me!" confidence, but white children.
John Mulaney by MastermindOfTrouble February 29, 2020
Related Words
John McClane
n proper: Protagonist of the Die Hard series and BAMF who transcends humanity.
v: To defeat the terrorists using extremely creative means.
v: To defeat the terrorists using extremely creative means.
n: Who do you think you are, John McClane?
v:
1- to kill helicopter with building
2- to duct tape gun to your back
3- to kill a plane with a zippo lighter
4- to cross Mannhattan in a matter of minutes (truly impossible in case you've never been there)
5- to kill another helicopter with a telephone cable
6- to knock a guy out of a hilicopter with a fire hydrant
7- to kill a heicopter with a car
8- to drive through a power plant with an SUV
9- to kill an F-35 with a briefcase
10- to shoot yourself to shoot the guy right behind you
11- to do any of the above while on vacation
"I just John McClaned that dude in Halo!" (after driving a warthog into a banshee and having both explode as a result)
v:
1- to kill helicopter with building
2- to duct tape gun to your back
3- to kill a plane with a zippo lighter
4- to cross Mannhattan in a matter of minutes (truly impossible in case you've never been there)
5- to kill another helicopter with a telephone cable
6- to knock a guy out of a hilicopter with a fire hydrant
7- to kill a heicopter with a car
8- to drive through a power plant with an SUV
9- to kill an F-35 with a briefcase
10- to shoot yourself to shoot the guy right behind you
11- to do any of the above while on vacation
"I just John McClaned that dude in Halo!" (after driving a warthog into a banshee and having both explode as a result)
John McClane by Sean KF December 15, 2008
John Mulaney
Diner Guest 1: Did you see that little asshole John Mulaney who put Whats New Pussycat on the Jukebox 21 times?
Diner Guest 2: At least they put in "It's Not Unusual"!
Diner Guest 2: At least they put in "It's Not Unusual"!
John Mulaney by MotharChod June 13, 2018
John Mulaney Syndrome
A condition in which you seem to trigger everyone's gay detectors, but you are in fact straight. This leads to you being asked if you are gay constantly and often being an icon among the LGBT despite being entirely straight.
"I think I was supposed to be gay. I think, like, in Heaven they built, like, three quarters of a gay person and then they forgot to flip the final switch, and they just sent me out and it was like, 'You marked that one gay, right?'
And it was like, 'Oh no! Was I supposed to?'" - John Mulaney creating John Mulaney syndrome
And it was like, 'Oh no! Was I supposed to?'" - John Mulaney creating John Mulaney syndrome
John Mulaney Syndrome by simplyhopeless October 10, 2020
John Mulaney
John Mulaney by spicyKnees April 7, 2020
John Mulaney
A lanky catholic man who is commonly mistaken for an asian that tickles the imagination with his graceful and mind boggling comedy. One might also ask, what are three other things about him?! To which I would respond "he has a penis, accidentally chases women through subway stations, and cannot be trusted without a horse by his side. Overall 10/10 would smash if given the chance ;) Also, John Mulaney if you are reading this plz divorce ur wife and call 673-854-1111
sally from group 2's parent: "wow who came up with the name for your reading group sally?"
Sally from group 2: "its that tall asian kid, John Mulaney!"
Sally from group 2's parent: "oh, stay away from that kid! There has got to be something wrong with him, he's asian and in group 2"
Sally from group 2: "its that tall asian kid, John Mulaney!"
Sally from group 2's parent: "oh, stay away from that kid! There has got to be something wrong with him, he's asian and in group 2"
John Mulaney by cootercrusher58 November 25, 2019