one who practices the world's oldest monotheistic religion
Jesus was a Jew, douche
by shooter August 03, 2005
An easily identifiable and handy scapegoat for all the world's problems. Although strangely, they ARE responsible for an astounding 95% of the world's problems, so go figure.
See: parasites
1. Damn Jews stole my coupons
2. Stop acting like a Jew and give me that money you owe me
3. Gentile: "Jews sunk the Titanic"
Semite: "What? The Titanic struck an iceberg you fool!"
Gentile: "Greenberg, Goldberg, Iceberg, you Jews are all the same to me"
by TGR In The Cage October 01, 2009
Heat source used in Germany in the late 1930's and early 1940's.
Eva: Wolfie, its cold in here tonight. Adolf: Shut the fuck up and throw another jew on the fire.
by scut monkey August 08, 2009
The so called chosen people. But actually every race claims at one point or another to be God's chosen people, the Jews where just the first to call dibs on the name by writing it down.
Tim: Hi there I'm Jewish
Fritz the German: Oh, sorry, here's twenty bucks
Iranian: Don't be sorry that whole thing never happened
Mel Gibson's dad: He's right you know
by Collinf December 20, 2006
Jew (Verb)

To cheat someone out of something for personal financial gain, normally an odd job or something of the nature.
Ted: I get paid like $200 dollars a month to water plants man.
Joe: If you weren't my friend, I would totally jew that job from you for like 150 bucks.
by Tyler Vanston August 06, 2007
a jew
"hey, look at that jew!"
by ksuu May 26, 2009
a person who is considered cheap
ie.
-Asking your mates to pay you back for the text they sent from your phone
- only shopping at sale time
- picking up a coin off the group thats less then $1
- not tipping
- waiting for your 5cents change
"You are such a jew"
by Hannah1234 October 16, 2007

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